BENTONVILLE, AR—In a bold move intended to curb the thousands of deaths from vehicles each and every day, Walmart has decided to stop selling auto parts, sources confirmed Tuesday.
According to shocking reports, people have purchased car parts at Walmart and then those cars have been involved in accidents, proving a direct correlation between selling auto parts and causing deaths.
"We can no longer be complicit in an industry that kills over 3,000 people a day," said a spokesperson for Walmart. "Every time we sell a muffler, steering wheel cover, or flame decal, we are potentially causing the death of a person, and we cannot support that any longer."
"It's clear that bad drivers and poor road conditions don't cause vehicular deaths---cars do."
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They will continue to sell you alcohol to keep you driving drunk!
ReplyDeleteWhat about peanuts jack wagons ?
ReplyDeleteStop selling food because people get fat and die.
ReplyDeletethe irony is lost on most people
ReplyDeleteStop selling cellphones and chargers. Texting and driving kills. Stop the madness Walmart.
ReplyDeleteFish hooks. Lots of fish perish!
ReplyDeleteInteresting analogy...but accurate in that it is ridiculous to think that selling ammo and guns is directly linked to mass shootings. Wal Mart has erred way to far on the side of caution on this one. Almost everything except for food carries the tag "MADE IN CHINA"...MAGA!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat satire. However you have to study to pass a test for a license, be approved by an instructor, register and insure your car AND are subject to regulations where your right to drive can be taken away should you abuse it.
ReplyDelete