Just Some Thoughts...

If Dorothy were to meet men with no brains, no heart and no balls she would not be in Oz, she would be in Congress

 

I was drinking a margarita and the bartender suddenly yelled ‘Does anyone know CPR?’ I replied that I knew the whole damn alphabet. Everyone laughed. Well, except for this one guy.

 

I am not bragging but this morning I went into another room and instantly remembered why I had gone there. Well it was the bathroom but still…

 

I dated Wonder Woman for a while. She was always wondering where she left her keys, where she put the phone, what she saw in me…

 

Instead of arming teachers with guns, arm parents with belts and switches. Worked really well awhile back.

 

The Washington Post noted that the Hollywood Walk of Fame Star Council recently voted to remove Donald Trump's star because of his ‘disturbing treatment of women and other actions that do not meet the shared values...of the Country’  NOTE: The stars of Ken Spacey (Pedophile), Bill Cosby (Rapist) and O.J  Simpson (Murderer) are still there.

 

From a female lumberjack -- If a tree in the forest falls on your ex and no one hears it you should still ditch the chain saw.

 

 A friend of mine changed his horn so it sounds like shot gun blasts. He says that people move out of the way much faster. Works especially well with jaywalkers.