I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teens, “Who are the most important people in your family?”
Like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they answered, “Our kids!”
“Why?” I then asked. “What is it about your kids that gives them that status?” And like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they couldn't answer the question other than to fumble with appeals to emotion.
So, I answered the question for them: “There is no reasonable thing that gives your children that status.”
I went on to point out that many—if not most—of the problems they're having with their kids—typical stuff, these days—are the result of treating their children as if they, their marriage, and their family exist because of the kids when it is, in fact, the other way around. Their kids exist because of them and their marriage and thrive because the parents have created a stable family.
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More truth than most people realize. I like to think that when I was a parent the most important thing in my life was my wife. The kids were next in line and I see nothing wrong with that. To prove my point ask my kids and they know that they were next in line after their parents. And when they left and went on their own, guess who was left at our house. Yup, and we treasured every minute of it. Sam Smullen
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ReplyDeleteI was just thinking about this subject this morning, and how so many parents become personal servants to their kids.. how their 'family life' is almost non-existent.
My brother's family was this way.. he was so busy shuttling his kids around to scouts and bowling and hunting and sports and church stuff and music lessons and concerts and band practice that none of them ever had any time to spend with FAMILY. If we ever got to see them it was only once or twice a year in a tightly-wedged-in visit.
What's the point of living like that? So you have impressive stuff to show on your college applications?
Think about it.
My wife was always first in my mind and heart, and see nothing wrong in that attitude. My kids knew they were after my love for their mother and they never complained or showed any remorse. When my kids grew up and moved away guess who was still at the Smullen household. Yup, and we had a ball.
ReplyDeleteThey may not be the most important, but they are often the most dominating.
ReplyDeleteWhatever floats ones boat here!
ReplyDeleteStill only 2 days until TGIF!
This is so TRUE!!!!
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