CHICAGO—Promising that every effort would be made to limit the impact on residents’ day-to-day lives, Chicago officials announced Wednesday that a fleet of plows was working around the clock to clear more than 18 inches of fresh bullet casings that had blanketed the metropolitan area overnight.
Sources at the city’s Department of Streets and Sanitation confirmed that over 250 ammunition-removal vehicles had been deployed to deal with the knee-deep layer of spent cartridges, which have been steadily accumulating on Chicago’s streets, alleys, and pedestrian walkways since the previous evening.
“Our crews have been out there all night trying to make our roadways passable, but given how quickly the handgun and semi-automatic shells have piled up, it’s going to take some time,” DSS commissioner Charles L. Williams told reporters, thanking the public for its patience while crews made their way across the stricken municipality. “We’re making good headway, but as you can imagine, it’s not an easy job, especially with casings continuing to fall throughout the city.”
“So unless you have an emergency, we’re urging all citizens to stay put for the time being,” he added. “Right now, it’s just not safe to be out in such treacherous conditions.”
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Don't laugh Salisbury. It's just a lite dusting right now. Keep the idiots in office we currently have and a full blown blizzard will be on the way. That means you to District Attorney and Judges.
ReplyDeleteWould that be all of the bullets fired this year in Chicago, or only some of them?
ReplyDeleteGlad I clicked more.
ReplyDeleteYears of Chicago bad news = the accumulation data. Nice photoshop too!
ReplyDeleteAnd Let me Guess..Policemen sleeping soundly all along !! ...All the while 10 million rounds have been fired !! Unbelievable ! ( Even over possible many many months ) !!! ???????
ReplyDeleteBetter get that hauled away before a winter snow arrives. The accumulation on top of this would cause them to crawl out the second story to get bread, milk, and tissue.
ReplyDeleteNow that there article is funny, don't care who you are.
It's satire but at the same time descriptive.
ReplyDeleteClearly satire.
ReplyDeleteNow if it had said "needles" it would have been accurate.
where are all the dead body? must be a lot of bad shots , mabe take a shooting course at the local gun shop or DNR so they kill the problem
ReplyDelete