Editor's note: The following column is adapted from the new book "The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage" Post Hill Press (February 14, 2017).
Like me, my mother was not a perfect wife. She was, however, a remarkable and compassionate woman. And she was fiercely devoted to my father, so much so that five years after he died, she couldn’t bring herself to even kiss the man who fell in love with her at the independent living facility where she lived for a year and a half before she too passed away. The man wanted to marry her, but it was out of the question. In my mother’s mind, there was only one man for her. That he was gone and she was technically available was beside the point.
Despite my mother’s allegiance to my father, she never quite mastered wifedom—for one reason: she was wholly unyielding.
With my mother, everything was a fight. Everything was “No” unless she determined it was appropriate to say yes. If my mother wasn’t the one who made the decision, the decision couldn’t possibly be good. Every so often she would appear to cede to my father’s wishes, but only if she happened to agree with him.
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Articles like this are written, and read, and are quite valid. The Alpha Female is very evident in todays society, and this certainly includes the feminists and to a little lesser degree, liberal females in general. Often women these days want their cake and eat it too. They want the white picket fence marriage to the hot guy with the great $$$ job and to also have their own careers where they too are in charge and then go home to the 2.3 kids and a husband who has dinner already on the table. That existence can exist, but there is an equal give and take requirement on both spouses. That is the weak point. Having been in, and still see with nearly 100% of my male friends, a relationship where giving and giving on the guys part yields nothing in return, its frustrating. I see why, and as a member of, the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement, where there is a frame of mind that women are nice to haves. Not really necessary to make a guys life happy. There are a lot of codependent beta men out there (used to be one until 3 years ago), but there are still a lot of men in marriages who, if they had to remarry, would not do it. Men want respect and care, and when they receive those things, they give love and unbreakable love. It's a circle that builds on itself. The current feminist, liberal, more equal than you, on the take female that seems so prevalent today, it just isn't going to work. These women will be the stereotypical 40ish year olds, home alone with their cats. We all know the kind, including my ex wife. She wanted the cake, all of it. The marriage was an eggshell marriage, which a lot of them seem to be. And men, we don't need it. Dating can be fun, marriage can be rewarding, but guys need to be able to immediately let go, and walk away. Run sometimes. And know that Alpha females just aren't wanted. So ladies, get off your high horse and be an equal. Remember, you aren't perfect either.
ReplyDeleteI know a few unlovable creepy women, Hillary, Rosie, Nancy, Madonna, Woopie,
ReplyDeleteI married one. She's way ahead of this book.
ReplyDelete11:37 don't give up completely. There are still some of us women out here that are capable of being strong but don't want a man they can steamroll over either.
ReplyDelete12:05 - Could you send us a list? Pictures would be nice, too.
ReplyDeleteI don't care if they love me, as long as they leave those boots on.
ReplyDeleteThats why you see so many women on social media that can't maintain a relationship.
ReplyDeleteIt's no wonder men with financial means look to other countries like Eastern Europe, Russia, and Latin America to find a wife. I'm afraid radical feminism has put a barrier between men and women. I have friends who married ladies they met in OC from the Ukraine. All are still happily married and one for over twenty years.
ReplyDeleteI work in an office full of women at a call center. Of all the people working there, I am only one of four people who are still married. I am the only one who is still married to their original spouse! There are some who are single and have never been married and are in their mid thirties with no kids. Very sad! Others have kids and are working two jobs and have no intention of every getting married or settling down!
ReplyDeleteThe feminist movement was hurtful to most women. I am old enough to remember the movement from its start. Just because a few women stated that women should have this and do that didn't make it a reality. I consider myself to be progressive and believe in certain equal rights for all but not at the cost of the family unit which is what I think the feminist movement helped to destroy.
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