We ladies can police ourselves, thank you very much

A letter to all women,

Do you ever wonder “Why am I sticking to my toilet seat?” If you are a mother of boys, such thoughts might, indeed, have crossed your mind. No matter how stringent your domestic rules; no matter how appealing or threatening the Post-It notes; no matter how despairing and hysterical the reprimands, there’s something seemingly unavoidable about males and bathroom usage. There’s much fuss now about laws allowing men who want to be women and women who used to be men into the ladies’ room. But ladies, let’s get real. Do we really need such a law?

The least we can expect from a male on his way to womanhood is to shape up and give in to the basics of our fairer sex. We smell better, we look better, we are more discrete, and we know how to keep secrets. It’s the unwritten law of femininity and anyone who wants to be one of us better get with the program. Why should any law regulate who uses which bathroom? Who, after all, would even be able to enforce any new “bathroom laws” to make sure only men who REALLY want to be women use the ladies’ room? Checking birth certificates at the door? Anyway, the whole concept seems confusing.

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