COLLEGE FOOTBALL FOR REDNECKS

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."
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Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
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What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
Drool.
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How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a sophomore course.
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How did the Auburn football player die from drinking milk?

The cow fell on him.
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Two Texas A&M football players were walking in the woods.

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
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What do you say to a Michigan State University football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

"Will the defendant please rise."
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If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

The police officer.
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How can you tell if a Clemson football player has a girl friend? There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
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What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

A full set of teeth.
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University of Michigan Coach Jim Harbaugh is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week; the other half will have to dress themselves.
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How is the Kansas football team like an opossum?

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
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Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
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How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.