Success Is Likelier When You Make People Happy They Helped You

We could all use a little help sometimes. And we all know that the best way to get help is to ask.

Of course it’s important to ask the right person. When I managed an accounting firm I had people ask me questions about taxes. When I left there to manage a dental practice I had people ask me questions about root canals. Great examples of asking the wrong person -- because while I was a highly innovative and successful manager and marketer, I would have been a terrible tax accountant or dentist.

But more than asking the right person, it’s important to develop the right relationship with that person before, and after, you seek their help. Most of my clients are in the business of providing professional services, many of them in an advisory role. So they get asked for their time and expertise a lot. Of course, when you coach, speak or write for business publications as I do, you get asked for help in every way imaginable.

There’s really only one secret to getting people to help you – you have to help them feel good about helping you.

It really is that simple. We all make decisions based on what makes us feel good, or at least “less bad.” You might be able to get someone to help you by using guilt. If their guilt avoidance is high, helping you will feel less bad than feeling guilty for saying no. But that won’t work on everyone, and it won’t work on anyone for every long. Besides, it just isn’t nice and I’m betting you are a nice person.

So let’s look at three really basic ways to make people feel good about helping you so that they’ll choose to do it again and again.

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