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Friday, February 07, 2014

Creation Account in 21st Century

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. The using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes" and Woman said, "As long as your at it add sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from a 6 to size 14. So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fired chicken, fish and chicken fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then brought forth running shoes so His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave them cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald''s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then he aske, "Do you want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. Then Satan created.... Obamacare. Amen

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