Ten Thoughts For 2011 To Ponder:

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Number 9Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 6Some people are like a Slinky-not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 4All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2In the 60's, people took acid and weed to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1

Thought - Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me :
"Don't worry about old age-- it doesn't last that long."