DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
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Tuesday, February 09, 2010
OWNERS, RESIDENTS OF FLAT ROOF BUILDINGS URGED TO BE AWARE OF SNOW LOAD DANGERS FROM STORMS
Property owners or residents should take the following precautions:
Before A Storm
1. Review the roof's design to be certain it can support the weight of snow, ice and water or any additional live load. Look for weaknesses and reinforce it if necessary, particularly where increased weight from drifting is likely.
2. Make certain gutters, drains, downspouts and scuppers are clear and in good condition.
3. Determine a safe snow depth for the roof and plan to begin removal when accumulated snow reaches half that depth.
4. Develop a snow removal plan that includes roofs, skylights, canopies and overhangs. Assign individuals to be responsible for monitoring, snow removal, etc.
5. Be ready to put the snow removal plan into effect immediately, especially in windy weather when snow will drift and accumulate.
During A Storm
1. Monitor the weather and condition of the roof.
2. Inspect roofs for leaks or structural deficiencies that may develop during the storm.
3. Clear leaves, snow, ice, silt, or other debris from gutters, drains, downspouts, and scuppers.
After A Storm
1. Have a professional licensed contractor remove all snow immediately from every roof surface, including roof overhangs and covered porches.
2. Remove snow from side walls to prevent high snow mounds from pushing them in.
3. Temporarily shore up and brace dipping or sagging roofs or walls.
4. Verify that drains are clear of ice and snow to allow melting and runoff. If the roof is pitched and without drains, open paths to the eaves to ensure drainage and prevent ponding.
5. Avoid ice dams by keeping the attic well ventilated so snow doesn't melt and refreeze at the roof's edge. Also make certain the attic floor is well insulated to minimize the amount of heat rising from the house into the attic.
Here are several other points to consider:
Improper operation of doors or windows, deflection of ceiling finishes or exposed beams, roof leaks or sprinkler heads moved for their normal positions all could be signs of roof failure.
Barns and other agricultural out buildings could present a safety hazard. Be especially careful when entering those buildings and make prudent decisions about housing animals in those structures.
Contact a structural engineer, building inspector or other qualified individual if you are concerned about the structural integrity of a building. Consider evacuating or moving out of the building if appropriate.
Because of the anticipated cold temperatures, this threat will remain in place for a considerable time after the snow fall ends.
The (name of county agency) is coordinating efforts with local building inspectors, structural engineers, state officials, the Army Corps of Engineers and others to prepare for this snow event and help alert property owners and residents of the potential hazard.
For more information, contact: (insert name and number of local PIO, emergency manager, building inspector or other appropriate source.)
Edward J. McDonough
Public Information Officer
Maryland Emergency Management Agency
BEEZER SUGGEST TO O'MALLEY ON WHERE TO TRIM $76,803,302 FROM 2011 STATE BUDGET
Moreover, it would make a 'bold' statement which might attract more businesses as the news would spread about Maryland taking action to become more business friendly.
It's not like I'm trying to ' reinvent the wheel' as the Lone Star State of Texas has already deployed the same strategy.
Chicken House Fire
Mailbox Story
While we are talking about mailboxes here……I have quite a story for you.
Our road is terrible, the farmers have done their best to plow us out---all for free. The mailboxes are buried with snow & ice, and the mailman doesn’t have to deliver in those situations (although, she is wonderful & hasn’t been complaining at all).
Well, yesterday one of our neighbors rang our doorbell offering an apology….. He had borrowed a backhoe/digger of some sort & decided to help dig out some of the mailboxes on our road.
Gotta Love the Eastern Shore!
Still getting mail in Delmar DE
EXECUTIVE POLLITT, MAYOR IRETON CLOSE NON-EMERGENCY COUNTY AND CITY OPERATIONS FOR WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 10th
In anticipation of the third major winter storm in less than two weeks, Wicomico County Executive Richard M. Pollitt, Jr. and Salisbury Mayor James Ireton have announced that all county and city offices, including the Health Department, will be closed tomorrow, Wednesday, February 10, 2010. Both officials said that county and city emergency and essential personnel will be reporting to work. Executive Pollitt and Mayor Ireton commented, “We are expecting yet another winter storm and the experts say that this one will consist of rain, sleet, freezing rain and a significant snowfall. We agree that it is in the best interests of public safety to close tomorrow.”
The Executive and the Mayor added, “In the past 11 days, our city and county have been hit hard by the harshest consecutive winter storms in recent memory. Our front-line county and city employee responders to these snow emergencies have spent many long and arduous hours exposed to unforgiving elements in a heroic effort to protect our citizens. We salute every man and woman who has fought and will continue to fight this good fight.”
Both leaders urge all citizens to remain at home until the next storm passes.
The Gold Coast Comfort Inn Ocean City Chimes In
There's a 24 Hour Denny's Restaurant attached to their building and a Movie Theater right next door. They too have an Indoor Pool and a Hot Tub. To make a reservation call, 410-524-3000. Use promo code 2 for the reservation. That code will give you 15% off any room. Sorry Folks, no pets.
Bennett High School Experiences Massive Flooding Damage
OK MSM, time for you to get to work on this story.
Wicomico County Schools Closed Tomorrow
NEW DATE ANNOUNCED FOR CABARET!
(Salisbury, MD) Broadway in Salisbury’s presentation of Cabaret, scheduled for Saturday, February 6, has been rescheduled for Tuesday, February 23 at 7:30 PM. Please note the time change from 8:00 PM to 7:30PM. The performance of Cabaret at the Wicomico Youth and Civic center was rescheduled due to safety concerns from the inclement weather in the Mid-Atlantic region over the weekend.
Tickets for the February 6th performance will be honored for the rescheduled performance. Ticket holders are encouraged to hold onto their existing tickets for this exciting event! If you have any questions please feel free to call (410) 548-4911 or visit www.BroadwayinSalisbury.com.
Talk About A Pain In The Ace!
For what it worth Folks, I couldn't be more excited for the little guy, (Ace Hardware) with lines still out their front door.
I can see it now, DON'T YOU CALL ME HONEY! You get your ace to Ace Hardware and get that damn shovel. AND DON'T YOU FORGET THE SALT TOO! DON'T YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT COMING HOME TIL YOU DO! Uh, yes dear.
Hence all the men you see in line. Ahhhhh, the married life.
THANKS!
I just wanted to thank the kind man from A+ Landscaping that dug out my mailbox for free. In the last snow storm we received a postcard from the post office saying that we had to dig our mailbox out, 15 feet to the left and 15 feet to the right. We did so, but as many of you know, this storm was a different kind of snow, and ice. Today, a man from A+ was driving by, on his way home (after what I presume has been an exhausting day!) and I asked him if he would mind digging out my mailbox for $10. It's not much, but all I had on me. He graciously accepted and then refused to take my money! Please, when the snow finally melts, and spring is here, patronize this company to thank him for this selfless act. I know I will!
Thanks for helping to spread the word of kindness,
TJK
Food Lion On RT 50
Joe I just wanted to let everyone know how impressed I was with Food Lion! They had restock workers in almost every isle. All greeted me with a hello or can I help you find anything. There was about 7 registers open with baggers. The lines moved quickly for the circumstances. Thanks again for a great experience! Cary Oppel
URGENT - WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE
URGENT - WINTER WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WAKEFIELD VA
316 PM EST TUE FEB 9 2010
DORCHESTER-WICOMICO-SOMERSET-INLAND WORCESTER-MARYLAND BEACHES-ACCOMACK-INCLUDING THE CITIES OF...CAMBRIDGE...SALISBURY...CRISFIELD...PRINCESS ANNE...SNOW HILL...OCEAN CITY...CHINCOTEAGUE...WALLOPS ISLAND...MELFA 316 PM EST TUE FEB 9 2010
A WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 7 PM THIS EVENING TO 6 AM EST THURSDAY.
SNOW AND SLEET WILL DEVELOP ACROSS THE EASTERN SHORE THIS EVENING. SNOW AND SLEET WILL CHANGE TO RAIN LATER TONIGHT. RAIN WILL TURN TO SNOW WEDNESDAY MORNING AND CONTINUE THROUGH WEDNESDAY EVENING. TOTAL SNOW AND SLEET ACCUMULATION OF AROUND 4 INCHES IS EXPECTED IN THE SOUTHERN PORTION OF THE WARNING AREA...INCREASING
TO 8 TO 12 INCHES ACROSS THE NORTHERN PORTION OF THE WARNING AREA.
PUBLIC NOTICE
Holiday Inn Salisbury Knows How To Care For Locals
Joe,
Last Saturday morning after our 8th hour without power, I began calling Motels on the South side of Salisbury hoping to reserve room.
I call two newer motels, both told me the same thing. Yes, I could reserve a room, but I would be responsible for the full charge if I cancelled the room. In other words, if I booked the room at 10:00 am and cancelled at 11:00 am I would still be required to pay them the full fee.
My wife and I went to the store and decided to stop at the Holiday Inn Salisbury, Downtown Area. I walked in to inquire about a room. They told me I could reserve a room and if I got power back please call to release the room. After 6:00 pm I was responsible for the room. They told me and the other customers standing at the counter that the normal policy on weekends was 48 hours in advance but they were making exceptions because of the weather.
I applauded the business practice that the Holiday Inn Salisbury , Downtown implemented during this time of crisis. Fortunately our power was restored and we released the room immediately.
Thank You Holiday Inn Salisbury, Downtown Area.
Pete Richardson
Ace Hardware In Salisbury
You know life is good when you have a LINE going into a Hardware Store. Ace has it goin on people. They must have a stock of shovels inside. Now all these people need is someone who knows how to USE IT! I hear the City of Salisbury Public Works Department will be holding evening seminars on the proper way to use a shovel. After all, they've been forced to shovel sh!t for more than 10 years now and they're considered experts.
OCEAN CITY PUBLIC SAFETY WEATHER ADVISORY FOR UPCOMING WINTER WEATHER STORM
From February 5 to February 7, 2010, Ocean City Police handled 226 calls for service; 41 calls were directly related to issues resulting from the weekend storm. Ocean City public safety officials wish to commend residents and visitors for their cooperation and patience during the weekend weather event. As a result there were no serious or life-threatening issues during this storm.
OC public safety officials are advising citizens that Ocean City will begin to experience a mix of winter weather projected to begin Tuesday afternoon (Feb. 9), as rain and sleet, which will continue throughout the evening. The rain will turn to sleet and snow Wednesday morning and is expected to continue snowing until Wednesday evening. Accumulations could total between 4 and 6 inches. The Ocean City Public Works Department has been fully mobilized and will be plowing and salting Ocean City streets. Ocean City officials ask citizens and motorists to stay off the roads unless absolutely necessary.
Temperatures are expected to remain below freezing for several days after the conclusion of this storm. This will increase the likelihood of icing to occur on Ocean City roads. Before operating motor vehicles, citizens should ensure their windows and mirrors have been cleared of ice and snow. Citizens should use caution when driving, reduce speed, and maintain adequate distance between their vehicle and other vehicles on the road. Ensure everyone in the vehicle you are operating is wearing their seat belts. Maryland law specifically requires that children under the
age of 8 years old weighing less than 65 pounds use a child-safety seat. For children who do not require child-safety seats and are under the age of 13 years, it is recommended the child be positioned in the rear seat of the vehicle. Maryland law requires anyone under the age of 16 years old to be restrained by a seat belt.
During this next weather event, OC Police and Fire Department personnel will actively patrol the town. If you need emergency assistance, call Ocean City Communications Center at 410-723-6600. If your phone service is not operating, police and fire department personnel will be operating four-wheel-drive vehicles and can be flagged down.
HEALTH DEPARTMENT CLINICS CANCELLED
Rumor About Delmar Food Lion Not True
I contacted the Manager there hours ago and he confirmed there was absolutely no problem with their roof.
So STOP spreading this around.
Thomas Leggs Indictment
Yesterday, The Grand Jury for Wicomico County indicted Thomas Leggs, Jr., for the First Degree Murder of Sarah Foxwell, in addition to First Degree Burglary, Kidnapping, Kidnapping of a Child, and First and Second Degree Sexual Offenses.
Sarah Foxwell was abducted from her home in the early morning hours of December 23, 2009, and was found murdered on Christmas Day in the area of Melson Road, Delmar, Wicomico County, Maryland. Leggs has been in custody since December 23, 2009 for the offenses of First Degree Burglary and Kidnapping. The Circuit Court has ordered that Leggs will be held without bond on the new Indictment.
The State will file Notice of Intent To Seek the Death Penalty and the Notice of Intent To Seek Life Without Possibility of Parole before the end of February.
The Office of the State’s Attorney expresses appreciation to all of the agencies as well as the volunteers who participated in the search for Sarah Foxwell as well as to the many who continue to be involved in the investigation and prosecution of Thomas Leggs, Jr. The community support for Sarah, and for all children, has been overwhelming. Words cannot express the depth of what that support has meant to all of us who have been closely involved in this investigation.
Davis R. Ruark
State’s Attorney
Sampson G. Vincent
Deputy State’s Attorney
Keep These Numbers Just In Case You Need Snow Removal
Hampton Inn Salisbury Special
Good Morning Joe,
I am a follower of your blog and with the upcoming storm I was hoping you would post something for all of the readers. This past weekend while many were out of power the Hampton Inn Salisbury on Naylor Mill Road was open for business.
We are issuing a special rate for any locals that need to get out of their homes for the night or a couple of nights due to lack of power or just plain cabin fever. We have a great indoor pool, fitness center, game room and a complimentary hot breakfast every morning. Last weekend we had many guests come in from the local area and we love being able to help out where we can!
Please post our special rate of $79.00 under the seasonal special in your blog for all of the Delmarva Locals that need a warm cozy place to stay for the nigh! :)
Hampton Inn Salisbury 410-334-3080
121 East Naylor Mill Road (across from Toys R Us)
Thank you in advance!
Sincerely,
Lindsay Manuel
Director of Sales
Hampton Inn Salisbury
Phone: 410-334-3080
Fax: 410-334-3095
Signs Of The Snowpocalypse: Snow For Sale On eBay
One man's trash is another man's treasure. And just because you're sick of snow doesn't mean other people wouldn't spend their hard-earned money on it.
At least, that's what someone in Rockville is hoping. The seller is using eBay to unload "one shovel full of snow from 'Snowmageddon in DC.'"
"Authentic DC region snow straight from my driveway!!" the ad gleefully exclaims.
GO HERE to read more.
WICOMICO CIVIC CENTER HYPE – AN OBJECTIVE ANALYSIS
Those who attend events at the Civic Center can be classified in different groups. Persons from Salisbury and the nearby area account for very little additional business – none at hotels/motels and little, if any at retail stores, because they would make their purchases regardless of whether they attend events at the Civic Center. The main beneficiary is local restaurants; according to Gary Mackes “many” persons who attend an event “started or topped off the evening in an area restaurant.” Some, perhaps most of them would have dined at a restaurant even if they were not attending an event. The proposition that “many” of those in attendance also dine at a local restaurant is dubious. Surely, most person eat at home.
Some folks travel greater distances to attend an event at the Civic Center. Those who “stop and shop” here who would not otherwise do so and shop nearer to their homes, where they have the same and other vendors, is nil. And their restaurant business is spread over a wider area. For example, someone coming here from Virginia might choose to dine at Peaky’s in Princess Anne, and someone from Easton might visit a restaurant in Cambridge.
Mackes also claims that the “International Poodle Show” brings in $1.5 million in collateral business. That seems extremely unlikely given the number of spectators that event attracts.
Once again we are being told to accept as established truth the statements of those with a very vested interest in the matter. What is their economic thesis based upon? Could it be a report by a business consultant or an economics professor who knew what they wanted and provided that result on the basis of “accepted practice” and/or bogus data? That scenario has become an all too familiar scenario in Salisbury and Wicomico County.
Salisbury Police Department Press Releases
On February 8, 2010 at approximately 2:23 pm, Officers of the Salisbury Police received a call to respond to the Walmart Department Store for the report of a shoplifter. Upon arrival the officers met with store security who advised that store employees had observed the below listed suspect take clothing from the store without making payment. The items were recovered and returned to the store.
ARRESTED: Crystal Lynn Johnson, 37 years of age
Laurel, Delaware
CHARGES: Theft (under $ 100)
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking
CC # 201000005620
On February 8, 2010 at approximately 9:40 pm, Officers of the Salisbury Police arrested the below listed suspect on an outstanding Wicomico County District Court Bench Warrant for failure to appear in court. The suspect failed to appear in court to answer open container of alcohol charges.
ARRESTED: Soulymane (nmn) Diallo, 25 years of age
Salisbury, Maryland
CHARGES: Wicomico Co. District Court Bench Warrant-
FTA-Open Container of alcohol
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking
CC # 201000005661
On February 8, 2010 at approximately 11:39 pm, Officers of the Salisbury Police received a call to respond to Chef Fred’s Restaurant
on North Salisbury Boulevard for the report of a fight. Upon arrival the officers observed the below listed suspect yelling and acting in a disorderly manner. Attempts to calm the suspect were unsuccessful and resulted in the suspect’s arrest.
ARRESTED: Jesse James Truitt, 29 years of age
Parsonsburg, Maryland
CHARGES: Disorderly conduct
DISPOSITION: Released to Central Booking
CC # 201000005668
Pictures From Parsonsburg
Joe,
Here are some pics from Parsonsburg from yesterday and today. As you can see, shoveling the sidewalk and a path to the cars was a chore. Thank goodness for good neighbors - a neighbor rode by on a tractor, saw me laboring to get to the road, and plowed most of it out of the rest of the drive to the road. He also took care of the corner of Berry and Shavox Road - a treacherous 90 degree turn. I went in to get my wallet and when I came back out he was already way down the road. So since I didn't get a chance to say thank you - THANK YOU! A little later on, someone else rode by in a small front-end loader and took care of my neighbor's driveway and took another swipe over that same corner. I should add that we've seen the county snow plows three times since the beginning of the storm and no salt or sand. We've got one lane open on our road and the portions of road that are shadowed by trees are extremely dangerous. It gets interesting when two vehicles meet and one must yield. I think the county owes a huge thank you not only to the road crews but to our farmers all over Delmarva who have sacrificed time and money (fuel isn't cheap) to help not only neighbors, but the entire community.
The head and house sticking up in that field of snow is the TOP of our birdbaths in the front yard; we took the bowl off of the taller one to keep it from cracking, the other stands about 2.5 feet high.
Lastly, my daughter had a great time collecting icicles and building an ice castle this morning - it was literally "for the birds!"
Take care of yourself while you're out there with Bruce doing the good deeds that set an excellent example for the rest of the community!
Shannon
How To Get Rid Of Annoying Passenger Next To You
What to do on a flight when you have a really annoying passenger sitting next to you
1. Remove your laptop from your briefcase
2. Open the laptop slowly and carefully
3. Turn it on as well as the sound
4. Make sure that the passenger next to you is looking
5. Access the Internet
6. Close your eyes for a few moments, open again and look up to heaven
7. Take a deep breath and open the site: http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html
8. Observe the facial expression of the passenger seated next to you.
Now.....................Have a good trip
City Of Salisbury Activates Its Emergency Operations Notification System
Lore’ L. Chambers, Assistant City Administrator, is the designated Emergency Operations Manager. Captain Mark Tyler, of Salisbury Police, is the Emergency Operations Center Director.
Chambers and Tyler have spent the afternoon notifying Emergency Operations staff of the activation.
The City of Salisbury has not declared a state of emergency - but is monitoring police, fire and EMS, the Water and Wastewater plants, and all city services as another weather event approaches. Support staff has been notified of their responsibilities. Salisbury officials will meet with county representatives at 9:00 AM Tuesday (2/9/10) to assess weather conditions and forecasts, and the response and impact of city services to those weather conditions.
County Executive Richard M. Pollitt as well as Sandy Silvia and Dave Shipley of the Wicomico County Department of Emergency Services have been notified of the City’s E.O.N. System and of the “Level 2 – Watch” activation.
“Two snowstorm events in the past week and a third being imminent have made the activation of the Emergency Operations Notification System necessary. The possibility that significant amounts of standing water will freeze – then be followed by a day of snow, will make travel hazardous and the delivery of city services difficult. Section 2.08 of the City Code speaks to municipal emergencies as the issue of public health, safety, and welfare is determined. I ask residents to exhibit extreme caution over the next 48 hours and prepare for another winter event. Please remove cars from Snow Emergency Routes and put cars in driveways when possible.” added Mayor Jim Ireton.
Captain Mark Tyler – Salisbury Police Department – 410-548-3165 and 410-430-0296
Lore’ L. Chambers – Assistant City Administrator – 410-548-3100 and 443-880-6091
Dangerous Condition
I was wondering if you would let your readers know about a dangerous situation on Old Ocean City Rd. in Parsonsburg. During the storm a tree fell on the property across from the Village Inn. It took out a pole and some telephone lines. Verizon went out and while some people were able to cut the tree to get it out of the road, they were not able to get the entire tree so part of it is still leaning into the road.
Verizon put cones up around it but that's it.
There are very bad icy/slushy places before you get to this spot and people are flying up this road like the roads are dry and then coming up on this. There is only room for one lane of traffic to get through this area!
Somebody's going to get hurt if they don't slow down!
We were hoping Verizon would come back out today and finish repairing this area, but they have not. There were 3 big Verizon trucks that drove by it this morning, but they were apparently on their way to another job and have not been seen since.
This road is going to freeze over tonight which will make this even more dangerous.
Thank you
Attorneys
WITNESS: He said , 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No , I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis , does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do..
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes , voodoo.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you sh…. me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
0AWITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Let's Offend Everybody!
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different bar.
Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong.
Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.
Q. Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.
Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.
Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'
Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale???
A. A northern fairytale begins, ...'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins,.... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this stuff'
Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.
VIN NUMBER - WARNING
WHAT WILL the car thieves THINK OF NEXT?
The car thieves peer through the windshield of your car or vehicle, write down the VIN # from the label on the dash, go to the local car dealership and request a duplicate key based on the VIN #..
I didn't believe this e-mail, so I called Chrysler-Dodge and pretended I had lost my keys. They told me to just bring in the VIN #, and they would cut me one on the spot, and I could order the keyless device if I wanted.
The Car Dealer's Parts Department will make a duplicate key from the VIN #, and collect payment from the thief who will return to your car.
He doesn't have to break in, do any damage to the vehicle, or draw attention to himself.. All he has to do is walk up to your car, insert the key and off he goes to a local chop shop with your vehicle.
You don't believe it?
It IS that EASY.
To avoid this from happening to you, simply put some dark tape (electrical tape, duct tape or medical tape) across the VIN Number Metal Label located on the dashboard.
By law, you cannot remove the VIN, but you CAN cover it so it can't be viewed through the windshield by a car thief.
THE AMISH ELEVATOR
The boy asked, "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat, old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father said quietly to his son................
"Go get your mother."
The Diagnosis
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man.. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think."
The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong."
So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
Texas Sheriff's Exam
Then, sliding a service pistol across the desk, he says, "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal aliens, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Liberal Democrats, and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?" the man asks.
"That's the attitude we want," says the Sergeant. "When can you start?"
FREE BREAKFAST TODAY
Dine Out For MS
Dine out Tuesday, February 23 for lunch, happy hour or dinner! The Salisbury Greene Turtle will contribute 10% of their entire day’s sales to the National MS Society, Maryland Chapter.
Join us from 5 to 9 pm Tuesday evening for the Walk MS Team Rally. The rally will offer you the perfect opportunity to socialize and network with your fellow Walk team captains, members and participants. Team Captains and team members will be able to pick up information with tips on fundraising and recruiting team members. Interested in forming a team? Stop by to learn more about how to start your own team.
25 door prizes to be given throughout the evening including:
Complimentary stay at the Hilton Suites in Ocean City, MD
Two reserved box seats for any game within 2010 Shorebirds Season
$20 gift certificate to Famous Dave’s including a four sauce pack.
Help support MS research and dine out February 23. Enjoy the fun at the Walk MS Kick Off Rally-- Sherman the Shorebird will be signing autographs from 5 - 5:30pm and the team with the most members at the Rally will receive t-shirts.
If you have questions or you would like more information, please contact Whitney Pogwist at 443-641-1213 or whitney.pogwist@nmss.org.
We hope to see you there!
Thank You
My mother had contacted you.....Delmar DE, Mari......I was trying to get out of my driveway to go help her out, but unfortunately that was not happening soon enough. She said you did contact her however, and she could not stop going on about how wonderful of a person you are and that you have one of the biggest hearts of anyone she has ever talked to around here. I do appreciate so much that you took the time to call her back. You were the only person I knew of that she could contact til I could get there. Fortunately, she was able to get a family of four to help her out. She was definitely stressed financially about it, but she chalks it up to God wanting them to help her out, and her do the same in return. When I got there this evening, I shoveled out around her mailbox (snow about 4 feet out from it, and it was covered up to the box!) that got kicked up by the plows. After I was finished, I went inside and she was just astounded at how awesome you were, and I just want to send my personal thanks for you contacting her back, and her thanks as well....she does not get on the computer much. But I told her that if she wants the news.....the real news anyway, you are the one with it! Thanks so much Joe, you are one awesome person, and to any of the naysayers out there.....well, they can shove it where the sun dont shine. You are the real deal!
Sincerely
Sean Shockley
SALISBURY CITY COUNCIL WORK SESSION AGENDA
FEBRUARY 11, 2010
CONFERENCE ROOM 306
GOVERNMENT OFFICE BUILDING
(Times shown for agenda items are estimates only)
9:30 a.m. Fire Station proposals
Coastal Venture Properties LLC
Aloha Properties LLC
11:00 a.m. Budget amendment – lease/purchase vehicles – Pam Oland
11:30 a.m. Quarterly financials – Pam Oland
12:00 p.m. Follow-up on financial policies – John Pick
12:30 p.m. Amendment to subdivision regulations pertaining to bonding and plat recordation
with respect to Construction Improvements Plan approval – Teresa Gardner
1:00 p.m. General discussion/upcoming agendas
1:05 p.m. Adjourn
YOUNG REPUBLICANS
LSYR
Monthly Meeting
The Lower Shore Young Republicans will be holding their monthly club meeting this Wednesday February 10th at the Salisbury Area Chamber of Commerce building, located at 144 East Main Street. The meeting will begin at 6:30 and last about an hour.
This month we hope to have John Palmer of the Citizens group VOICE. Mr. Palmer is the president of the local chapter and wishes to come speak to the club about two charter amendments they are proposing for this November's election. They are both related to the Tea Party Movement and the 9/12 Project
.
If you have any questions or just want to know more about the club please email us at lowershoreyoungrepublicans@gmail.com