U.S. Flag Recalled After Causing 143 Million Deaths
WASHINGTON—Citing a series of fatal malfunctions dating back to 1777, flag manufacturer Annin & Company announced Monday that it would be recalling all makes and models of its popular American flag from both foreign and domestic markets.
Representatives from the nation's leading flag producer claimed that as many as 143 million deaths in the past two centuries can be attributed directly to the faulty U.S. models, which have been utilized extensively since the 18th century in sectors as diverse as government, the military, and public education.
"It has come to our attention that, due to the inherent risks and hazards it poses, the American flag is simply unfit for general use," said Annin & Company president Ronald Burman, who confirmed that the number of flag-related deaths had noticeably spiked since 2003. "I would like to strongly urge all U.S. citizens: If you have an American flag hanging in your home or place of business, please discontinue using it immediately."
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Mr Burman, kiss my a!!.
ReplyDeleteThis gave me a chuckle that I need today. Thanks Joe
ReplyDeleteStupid liberals, where did you get this from the Obamanation camp? Looks like it will be a pre-requisite for the Supreme Court. SOCIALISM IS HERE.
ReplyDeleteFolks...here we go!!! You better man your stations because there coming.
ReplyDeleteThis is a clear example of a liberals thinking , They fake concern for your well being when the end game is a take over of you freedom .
ReplyDeleteJoe, maybe you should put a little note at the end saying that The Onion is a fake news website. Obviously some people don't know that.
ReplyDeleteWhat in the name of RIGHT would this have to do with a liberal or conservative. This is from a "fake" newssite ONION and apparently a United States hater. This is the kind of mess that should never be on your site Joe for the people too ignorant to know that "our flag" has not caused deaths. The Deaths have come fighting for our freedom and the American Flag is treasured in the heart of every true blooded American. THANK GOD OUR FLAG STILL STANDS FOR FREEDOM. AND OUR FREEDOM HAS NOT BEEN FREE. Mr. Burman needs psych help.
ReplyDeletehumor people...satire...
ReplyDeleteeven though there is some truth in it somewhere
Humor? Satire? Is that what you consider this? Its the liberals coming out as a wolfe in sheeps clothing, just because you call its satire doesn't mean that it isn't really a socialist horse of a different color. This isn't the America I remember - we didn't have hurtful satire, we had vaudeville and the like.
ReplyDeleteUnlike Librals my these colors don't run. Maybe we should boycott whatever site it is that proposed this and then see how much they hate the flag, once all one billion of us refuse to purchase their socialist products.
ReplyDeleteLibral? Sorry, not interested. I'm a Pisces.
ReplyDeleteWhen was the last time you heard a liberal praise this country ?
ReplyDeleteI got a chuckle out of it.... so sorry some persons just don't understand satire. satire has truth but in a twisted humorous way. Enjoyed the chuckle
ReplyDeletenot funny
ReplyDelete