WCBOE Retiree Bonus Package

You've seen what the WCBOE put out there for their Press Release. It wasn't easy for me to stand up in front of a bunch of old folks with drool rags pinned to their shirts waiting for the Boards final decision. I expressed how this decision would affect me, as well as every taxpayer in the County. My taxes have gone up, not down.

I explained how GM & Chrysler wouldn't dare think of raising their RETIREE Benefits from 55% to 70%, all in the hope it would help them receive better employees. BITE ME! It didn't matter to this Board that you and I would be footing the bill once again for more taxes to fund RETIREE'S health benefits. Oh, maybe not this year but next year it's a guarantee, don't let them fool you.

Quite frankly, it was a slap in the face to ALL Wicomico County Taxpayers. The Board tried to express they had done everything properly to expose their intent to the public but my guess is without Salisbury News, you wouldn't have even known there was a public meeting last night, let alone the topic of their meeting. It certainly wasn't published on their website, even though they claimed it was.

We were chomping at the bit waiting to see if they'd put it up so we could finally tell what we already knew. I had spoken to several County Council Members who already knew what the outcome was going to be, yet the public wasn't even aware there was a vote to take place last night.

Now I want you to think long and hard about this Folks. Tell me the last time your health insurance rates went down? I already know the answer to that, it never has. Insurance rates will only go up. There are 550 current retirees plus 2,200 active employees/families on the plan as of now. Many of those active employees will retire in 5 years. The numbers the Board is providing TODAY are today's numbers, not the numbers you as taxpayers will feel over the next 5 years.

What the County also refuses to educate you on is the fact that you only have to work for the County for 10 years before you can RETIRE! That means you'll be fully vested and can take advantage of this stupid package for the rest of your life. So much for working 20 years before you retire and EARN these kind of benefits, as well as respect from those of us providing such benefits.

The Board wants you to believe this will help them get more teachers to move to this area and come to work for the County, even though the County only hires mid level quality of Teachers and have admitted to such. This is the biggest crock of sh!t I have seen in the longest time. These SOB's are so selfish, they want to run with O'Malley and take advantage of funding they could have GIVEN BACK TO THE STATE! That's right, they found a way to SAVE the taxpayers $350,000.00 and rather than giving any relief to the taxpayers by offering that money back to the State, they found a way to BLOW IT and ultimately cost taxpayers even more money in the years to come.

You tell me how you're going to be able to in good faith go back to the retiree's 5 years from now and say, I'm sorry, we just can't afford these increases and we're going to have to lower our contribution from 70% down to 55%? It ain't gonna happen, you know it and I know it. Besides, once it's grandfathered in, I doubt it will ever drop.

I asked many of you to be there last night and we stuck around until it was almost 11:00 PM. The ending was a different story in itself but let me assure you of one thing, the WCBOE reads Salisbury News like a Master's Degree Text Book each and every day. Robin Holloway was the ONLY Board Member who refused to support this increase and my hat is tipped to her for backing the taxpayer in such hardship times. The WCBOE is the absolute BIGGEST expense to the county taxpayer and I personally believe it's well past due time we bring in an elected Board before this Governor takes anything and everything we have left.

I can't wait to hear the comments come back telling me I'm wrong. You people better prove to me and the rest of our readers just why this was so important and why you didn't think of these savings many years ago and or go to your insurance provider and ask them where you could save $350,000.00 a year sooner! If a government agency sees extra money anywhere, they'll find a way to blow it and that's exactly what they did last night.

I should add, Ron Willey and Sue Hitch recused themselves from last night's vote.

Last Night's Events

Joe,

I looked through your site and watched the news and I couldn't find one mention of the two separate "out of control" parties that happened last night. According to the officer I talked with there were two drunken riots each with about 500 SU students. Lots of fights and destruction of property.

Then one of the co-eds decided to taken a drunken joy ride down Riverside drive and knocked out an electrical pole and demolished her car in the front yard of a home.

I guess if things invovle SU students, the town turns a blind eye.

Bob Caldwell Needs Your Prayers

Bob Caldwell, former City Council President and recent Salisbury Mayoral candidate, has disclosed that he is fighting what has become an all-too-familiar foe.

Caldwell slipped on “black ice” in January shortly after filing his candidacy for Mayor, and suffered a broken right ankle. In mid-March, as he neared full recovery from the injury, a blood clot developed in his left leg. There was no obvious reason for the clot to form, and he began treatment with anti-coagulants to prevent the formation of more clots. Unfortunately, several more did develop, requiring two periods of hospitalization.

Medical tests were conducted and uncovered the probable cause for the clotting. Caldwell, a two-time cancer survivor, has been found to have a third malignancy.

“No decision has been made regarding treatment,” Caldwell said, “but with the continued strong support of my faith, family, and many friends and supporters, I will meet this challenge head-on. I am grateful for the expressions of concern and encouragement, and look forward to a complete recovery and continuing to be an active participant in the life of Salisbury and Wicomico County.”

WICOMICO COUNTY PROPERTY TAX ASSESSMENT APPEAL BOARD VOLUNTEERS NEEDED

COUNTY EXECUTIVE CALLS FOR VOLUNTEERS TO SERVE ON WICOMICO COUNTY PROPERTY TAX ASSESSMENT APPEAL BOARD

In response to a request from Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley, Wicomico County Executive Richard M. Pollitt, Jr. must submit the names of 12 candidates to serve on the 4 member Wicomico County Property Tax Assessment Appeals Board. The candidates must be approved by the Wicomico County Council before their names are submitted to the Governor. Accordingly, Mr. Pollitt is asking for interested and qualified citizens to volunteer to serve.

Members of property tax assessment boards may not be actively engaged in real estate sales or appraisal. There are also limitations that apply to those employed in local or state government.

Board members serve a term of 5 years.

Mr. Pollitt said that potential applicants may apply by phone to 410-548-4801 or by email
to jsargent@wicomicocounty.org. A short biographical sketch should accompany any expression of interest. Pollitt also noted that, as always, he encourages diversity by gender, race and location in the county for his appointments.

WBCOE Approves Increase In Retiree Health Benefits

Wicomico County Board of Education Approves Increase in Retiree Health Benefits, Expands Health Insurance Options for Employees and Retirees Under 65
The Wicomico County Board of Education at its monthly meeting Tuesday, May 12, approved an increase in the percentage of retiree health insurance premiums paid by the Board from 55 percent to 70 percent, funded by insurance savings for active employees and retirees. This change is contingent on the school system aligning its health insurance benefits package with the City of Salisbury and Wicomico County to become a true consortium by Sept. 1. The Board also approved the addition of an Exclusive Provider Option (EPO) Plan to its CareFirst health insurance benefits package, effective Sept. 1. Retiree Health Insurance Benefits Raised to 70 Percent In 2008, the Board of Education voted down a proposal to increase health insurance benefits for retirees, citing the lack of a plan to fund the increase. Since that time, a task force has studied the issue to find solutions, because competitive health insurance benefits for retirees are an important factor in recruiting and retaining a quality workforce for Wicomico County Public Schools. This change places the Wicomico County Public Schools' contribution level at about average for public school systems on the Eastern Shore. Following lengthy discussion by the Board and input from representatives of school system employees and the public, the Board voted 4-1 to increase the Board's share of retiree health insurance costs from 55 percent to 70 percent. Board member Ron Willey, a retired principal, recused himself as a retiree whose benefits would be affected by any decision, and Board member Sue Hitch recused herself as an employee of CareFirst. Robin H. Holloway, Board president, voted against the change. Board Vice President Mark S. Thompson said the increase to 70 percent for retirees will show the Board's appreciation to employees for spending their careers in Wicomico Schools. Board member Brian Kilgore, calling himself a fiscal conservative who voted against the change last year, said that the new plan for funding the increase in retiree health insurance benefits is a sound one that uses existing money, not new money. To fund the estimated $437,000 annual cost of the increase, the school system will use $357,000 that will be realized in savings from the school system forming a true consortium with Salisbury and Wicomico County for health insurance benefits by Sept. 1. Another $40,000 will be realized if approximately 5 percent of employees and retirees under the age of 65 choose the new CareFirst EPO for health insurance, and $40,000 will come from the Rate Stabilization Fund jointly funded by employees, retirees and the school system. If the consortium and the EPO do not yield the anticipated savings in fiscal 2010, the school system will revisit the level at which it funds retiree health insurance. Exclusive Provider Option (EPO) Employees can still opt for the Preferred Provider Network (PPN) offered now, but by selecting the new EPO Plan can save money on health insurance. The school system will also pay less for employees covered under the EPO. Employees, retirees under 65 and the school system can expect their health insurance costs to decrease by approximately 6 percent under the EPO. A Board of Education task force that analyzed and recommended the EPO estimated that approximately 5 percent of employees would opt for the EPO in the first year. The EPO will have the same kind of deductibles and co-pays as the PPN, as well as the same network of providers, but employees who use medical services outside of the network will receive virtually no reimbursement. Emergency medical care required when an employee is located far from the provider network is an exception, and would be considered for reimbursement of some costs. The Board voted 5-0 to add the EPO Plan, with Board member Ron Willey, a retired principal, recusing himself as a retiree whose benefits would be affected by any decision, and Board member Sue Hitch recusing herself as an employee of CareFirst. Hitch and Willey were not involved in closed or open session discussions of the EPO. Details of employee benefits are outlined in the Open Enrollment brochure that every employee receives prior to Open Enrollment. The Open Enrollment period for employee benefits for the plan year that runs from Sept. 1, 2009 to Aug. 31, 2010, is from May 26 to June 19. In addition to the new EPO Plan as an alternative to the PPN/PPO, employees will also have the opportunity to choose new Dependent Term Life Insurance coverage effective Sept. 1. Human Resources will hold Benefit Fairs at the Central Office: Thursday, May 21, 3-6 p.m. (auditorium) Tuesday, May 26, 3-6 p.m. (media center) Monday, June 1, 3-6 p.m. (media center) Wednesday, June 10, 1-4 p.m. (media center)

EDITORS NOTE: While I know it is extremely annoying trying to read one long story made into one paragraph, I personally believe they have provided it as such so you won't read it.

I strongly suggest you read it and with any hope GA Harrison will be providing his version of what we saw last night with our point of view. I will probably follow up after GA has expressed his opinion because it was simply unbelievable.

Nevertheless, the above message is what the BOE wants you to hear, we, as always, will give you the OTHER SIDE in just a little while.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your A$$ is disconnected.

Salisbury Police Department Press Release

In 1962, President John F. Kennedy signed a Presidential Proclamation that set aside May 15th as National Peace Officer’s Memorial Day and the week of May 15th as National Police Week. This year National Police Week will run from Sunday, May 10th through Saturday, May 16th.

On Thursday, May 14, 2009, the Salisbury Police Department will remember and honor injured and fallen officers and their families during a short ceremony at 10:00 am at S.P.D. Headquarters.

Troopers Probe Residential Robbery Near Milton

Milton – The Delaware State Police are investigating a strong-armed robbery of an 88-year-old woman that occurred at her home on Cool Spring Road yesterday morning at approximately 9:20 am. Troopers were called after it was reported a black female, 5’06” – 5’08”, 120 – 130 lbs, thin build and black short hair robbed the woman of money after she answered a knock at her door.

Investigators determined the suspect knocked on the front door of the woman’s home and when she answered, the female suspect forcefully pushed her way into the home and demanded money from the victim (who was home alone). The suspect retrieved an undisclosed amount of money from within the home, and in the course of doing so, threw the woman to the ground.

The suspect fled the home and was observed fleeing in an older model, dark gray or green with faded paint, boxy type sedan. The victim was not injured.

New BOE Appointments

Appointments: Two Assistant Superintendents, Director of Student and Family Services, Program Coordinator II - Infants and Toddlers Program

The Wicomico County Board of Education at its monthly meeting on Tuesday, May 12, approved Superintendent Dr. John Fredericksen's recommendations for the appointment of two Assistant Superintendents, the Director of Student and Family Services, and the Program Coordinator II for the Wicomico Infants and Toddlers Program.


Applicants for all of these positions were assessed and interviewed by a committee, and each of the appointees stood out as the top choice for the position, Dr. Fredericksen said. The appointments take effect July 1.


Bill Cain

Assistant Superintendent for Administrative Services

(Cain will replace Charlie Bounds, who will retire June 30 after 40 years of service to Wicomico Schools)


Cain has served as Coordinator of Employee Relations for the Wicomico School System since 2002, and has represented Wicomico on the Maryland Negotiation Service (chairman, 2003-04) and other professional organizations. Prior to being hired in Wicomico, during his career in Somerset County Public Schools, he was the Director of Administrative Services, Special Assistant to the Superintendent/Director of Human Resources, principal of Washington High School and the Tawes Vocation Center, and a physical education teacher. Cain received a bachelor's degree in secondary education from West Virginia University, and a master's degree in public schools administration from Salisbury University.


Margo Handy

Assistant Superintendent for Instruction and Student Services

(Handy will replace Tom Field, who will retire June 30 after 41 years of service to Wicomico Schools)


Handy has served as Director of Elementary Education since 2004, and prior to that was an Elementary Supervisor and principal of Pemberton Elementary and Prince Street Elementary, spending half of her 30-year career in education in Wicomico Schools. In 15 years in Baltimore County Public Schools, she was an elementary principal, assistant principal, and teacher. Handy is an active member of many local, state and national education organizations. She has won many awards in education, including the Dr. Nancy Grasmick Excellence in Minority Achievement Award, Maryland Distinguished Principal Finalist (2000), and the Milken Educator Award (2000). Handy received a bachelor's degree in elementary education and a master's degree in educational leadership & supervision from Morgan State University. She is pursuing a doctorate in leadership at Wilmington University, and anticipates receiving her degree in August.


Kim Finger

Director of Student and Family Services

(Finger has served as Acting Director of Student and Family Services during the 2008-09 school year)


Prior to her appointment as Acting Director of Student and Family Services in 2008, Finger served as a Pupil Personnel Worker from 2002-2007 and as Lead Pupil Personnel Worker from 2007-08. She had also served as Dean of Students and as the Human Relations Liaison for Wicomico High School. During her time as a Pupil Personnel Worker/Lead PPW, Finger served as the truancy reduction pilot program coordinator, co-chaired the school system's United Way drive in 2007 and 2008 (United Way of the Lower Eastern Shore co-coordinator of the year in 2007), served as a member of the African-American Summit leadership team, and won the 2005 MSDE Excellence for Minority Achievement Chair Award. Finger received a bachelor's degree in English from Villanova University and a master's degree in public school administration from Salisbury University.


Patricia Adkins

Program Coordinator II - Wicomico Infants and Toddlers Program

(Adkins will replace Genie Hershberger, who is retiring)


Adkins has served as a Pupil Personnel Worker since 2007, and in addition to other duties has coordinated Wicomico's services for homeless students, whose numbers have grown by approximately 400 percent in the past few years. She had also served Wicomico Schools as an assistant principal at Salisbury Middle, James M. Bennett High and Wicomico High, and as a special education teacher. Adkins was the 2004 Maryland Assistant Principal of the Year. She is the current United Way co-chair for the school system. Adkins received a bachelor's degree in special education from the University of Maryland Eastern Shore and a master's degree in public school administration from Salisbury University.

Clay Dyer - The Most Inspirational Fisherman Ever

A Beautiful Song For The Wife

A SALISBURY HISTORICAL MOMENT, BACK IN THE DAY

In his recent inaugural address Mayor Ireton mentioned that 100 years ago the dam that created a sizeable “mill pond” called Humphrey’s Lake on the east prong of the Wicomico River suddenly failed, causing the impounded water to flood further downstream and exposing a lake bed that is now part of downtown Salisbury and the City Park. The dam failed on May 29, 1909, so we still have a couple weeks to plan a centennial event at the site of the former dam -- where Division Street crosses the river just north of Carroll Street.

When I mentioned this to a friend she said it’s an opportunity for Urban Salisbury to “do something” to draw attention to the area, possibly together with the local Historical Society. She also sent these maps from 1877 and 1817 that give a mental picture of how much and what part of the area was once under the pond. These indicate that the dam was there for nearly 100 years or longer. By 1877 the railroad had arrived and ran through the “lake” on a trestle structure, and the street names were different: Bridge Street had become Main Street and Back Street changed to Camden Street. What was called Dividing Street in 1817 (then the County line) became Division Street.

Hopefully Urban Salisbury and George Chevalier try to get something going. My friend suggested asking Pete Cooper to participate and provide his recollections about how the area changed. As a title examiner she has learned that the bed of the pond was sold by the owner of the mill and dam (an estate) to a group of local investors who developed it and sold some of the land on the east side of the railroad tracks to the City that is now part of the Park where the tennis courts, bandstand and footbridge are located.

It would be great to post some before or after photos of the pond and the dam and mill that was powered by the water, as well as article or reports. If you happen to have any, please send them as “jpg” (not “pdf”) files for posting.

Yard Sign

Planning & Zoning Meeting Tomorrow

Looks like the Old Mall Owners are going to ask for more extensions from Planning and Zoning. From what I gathered the last go around, they were growing pretty tired of the delays and lack of professionalism.

Nevertheless, inside sources tell me what's what they're after again. Will the Board finally grow a pair and tell these guys enough is enough, or will they bow down to the old Mayor Tilghman and give in to the the people who hold the puppet strings on the Board?

We'll see tomorrow at 1:30 PM.

Wicomico County Sheriff's Office Most Wanted

Neal Thomas Smullen

· White Male, 5’09” 170 lbs

· DOB 04/25/1974 35 years of age

· Brown hair, Blue eyes

· Smullen’s last known address was Salisbury, MD

· Smullen has tattoos on both arms and his chest and back

· Smullen is wanted by the Sheriff’s Office on a total of four District Court Bench Warrants issued in March and April 2009 for Violation of Probation on Felony Theft, Forgery, and ID Theft charges.

· The total preset bond is $120,000.00

· Smullen should be APPROACHED WITH CAUTION

TROOPERS ARREST TOW TRUCK DRIVER FOR VEHICLE THEFTS

(Baltimore, MD) – Maryland state troopers have arrested a Baltimore tow truck driver after an investigation during the past week showed he was stealing vehicles abandoned along the road and selling them to an auto parts recycler.

The accused is identified as Charles (nmn) Jennings III, 38, of the 4200-block of Labyrinth Road, Baltimore, Md. He turned himself in at the Golden Ring Barracks yesterday afternoon to be served with charges. He is charged with four counts of auto theft and four counts of theft over $500. He is currently held in the Baltimore County Detention Center on $50,000 bond.

The investigation began on May 5, 2009, when a man contacted Maryland State Police at the Golden Ring Barracks and said he was the lien holder of a 2000 Infinity and was in the process of repossessing the car. He said the lady who had possession of the car left it abandoned on the outer loop of I-695 at I-83 earlier that day due to mechanical problems. When he checked the location, the vehicle was gone. The man activated a GPS device he had on the vehicle and found it at an auto parts recycling yard in the 4700-block of Erdman Avenue in Baltimore.

Troopers responded to the business and learned the vehicle had been towed to the yard earlier that day by the accused and was purchased from him for $325. The accused had filled out the required indemnity form stating he was the owner of the Infinity. Auto recyclers are required to obtain that completed form and keep it on file before a sale can be made. They are also permitted by law to purchase a vehicle for scrap that is eight years old or older and is inoperable without a vehicle title (Transportation Article 15-509).

After requesting assistance from the State Police Auto Theft Unit and the Baltimore Regional Auto Theft Task Force (RATT Team), investigators checked the recycling yard for three other vehicles that had recently been reported stolen to the Golden Ring Barracks. All three vehicles had been left along highways after becoming disabled. They included a 1991 Volkswagon, a 1997 Chevrolet Lumina, and a 2001 Nissan Altima.

Police found all three vehicles at the recycling yard. They also found indemnity forms showing all three vehicles had been towed to the yard and sold by the accused. All four of the stolen vehicles were among six towed to the yard that same day by the accused. He had been paid $675 for the four vehicles troopers identified as stolen.

Through further investigation at the yard, troopers and task force investigators identified another seven vehicles that had been reported stolen to State Police in March and April. They included a 1995 Ford, 1993 Volvo, 1998 Nissan, 1995 Toyota, 1994 Nissan, 1996 Dodge, and a 1993 Honda. All of those vehicles had been left abandoned around the Baltimore Beltway.

Investigators from the RATT Team have identified other vehicles stolen from Baltimore City and Baltimore County. They are following up on those thefts.

Evidence developed in the investigation indicates the accused was using his tow truck to remove abandoned vehicles from roadsides in the Baltimore Metro area. He was then selling them at the auto recycling yard.

The accused is believed to have sold more than 80 cars at the recycling yard this year. The investigation is continuing. Additional charges are pending.

Wicomico County Sheriff's Office Press Release

The Wicomico County Sheriff’s Office would like to advise residents that the Unicity Festival being held at Winterplace Park May 15th and 16th may cause some traffic congestion and delays in the area.

The Sheriff’s Office reminds citizens to be alert and drive carefully in the areas surrounding Winterplace Park, on Friday May 15 from 3pm to 10pm and Saturday May 16 from 10am to 10pm. There will be ONE WAY TRAFFIC on Saturday May 16, from 10 am to 10 pm on Blue Ribbon Drive entering Winterplace Park from Hobbs Road. Vehicle traffic will exit the park and turn right onto Old Ocean City Rd. There could also be delays on Hobbs Road, Rt. 50, Old Ocean City Road and Zion Roads due to community events.

The Unicity Festival planners are expecting approximately 5,000 people to be in attendance. Due to the combination of this event, an event at the Equestrian Center and the games being held at the East Wicomico Little League fields, parking will be limited. Go early, plan ahead, and be safe.

You Know You're A Redneck When......

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7.You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-room's so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Just Remember

Pemberton Elementary Play - Monster In A Closet

What: Monster in the Closet by Angela Stewart Produced by special arrangement with Pioneer Drama Service, Inc. , Englewood, Colorado
Who: Fourth and fifth grade students at Pemberton Elementary school
When: Friday May 15 and Saturday May 16 at 7pm
Where: Pemberton Gymnasium
Cost: Free

Bubba

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat .. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston "

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

"Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.

Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best.

I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."

A Brief Letter To The Editor

"Joe please find a way to add obits to your coulum so I can take the daily slime off my desk top

thanks jal"

Today's Wildlife Photo

PONDERISMS

· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

· Life is sexually transmitted.

· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'


· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

· ;If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?


· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Which Apartment Is Safer?

Md. Man Killed In Iraq Shooting, Mom Says

http://www.wbaltv.com/news/19443428/detail.html?treets=bal&tid=2652480377813&tml=bal_8pm&tmi=bal_8pm_1_07000105122009&ts=H

ANNAPOLIS, Md. -- A Maryland woman said her 19-year-old son was among the five killed when a U.S. soldier opened fire at a clinic in Baghdad.
Shawna Machlinski said two men from the Army came to her Eastern Shore home at 12:15 a.m. Tuesday to tell her Michael Edward Yates Jr. had been killed by "friendly fire."
Machlinski said her son had only been at the clinic for about five days when the shooting happened Monday.

Machlinski said she last talked to her son on Mother's Day and that he had talked about the alleged shooter, Sgt. John M. Russell.

She said her son got along with him, but she recalled him saying, "This guy's got issues."