1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
11. Your cousin is president of the United States
Most Excellent!
ReplyDeleteYou have more wives than teeth! LMAO!
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious!
ReplyDeleteGood job! I love when people think outside the box...
ReplyDeleteOutside of the box? Really? I've seen this so many times. And you may not like our President, but show some respect because he was able to get voted in while your lonely self sits on your butt all day commenting of things you don't even care to research.
ReplyDelete3:43 PM
ReplyDeleteRespect is earned sir. He was elected because he was black and promised change. We should have let him 'keep the change'.
Well to get elected he had to earn respect from the majority of the public...or he wouldn't have gotten voted in. Obama wasn't elected because he was black...he was elected because McCain can't lift his arms above his head and is going to pass any day and people were scared shitless of Palin becoming president. True Story. As we all saw being a POW doesn't guarantee you a victory as McCain may have thought. If he didn't think that he would have had a much better campaign and would have picked a VP candidate who wouldn't ruin it.
ReplyDeleteHaha! #10 The best!
ReplyDelete