The Older Crowd

A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office..
'Is it true,' she wanted to know,
'that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life? '
Yes, I'm afraid so the doctor told her .

There was a moment of silence
before the senior lady replied,
'I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my condition
because this prescription is marked
'NO REFILLS'.'
*********************************
An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his son.
'Yes, Dad, what is it?'

'Don't be nervous, son; do your best
and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and
live with you and your wife.'
*******************************
Aging:
Eventually you will reach a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about it.
*************************
The older we get, the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line for.
************************
Some people
try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why' I look this way.
I've traveled a long way
and some of the roads weren't paved.
********************
When you are dissatisfied
and would like to go back to youth,
think of Algebra.
*****************************
You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.
*************************
One of the many things
no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young.
**********************
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
**********************
First you forget names,
then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when
you forget to pull it down.
***************************
Long ago
when men cursed
and beat the ground with sticks,
it was called witchcraft...
Today, it's called golf.
*********************