It was sad to read about Jack Willing. My prayers go out to his parents.
As I read each comment I did understand the two sides of the readers. Those who know the family don't want the details getting out. I'm sorry but those details will be out no matter who they come from. There are also those readers who want to protect the innocent children. Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if we didn't have to protect children from this type of crime?
When I was a child I was never told to stay away from any of the men in our family. Joe, if you were to look at photo albums from my childhood you would think I had lived a wonderful childhood. It was. No one will ever convince me that I wasn't loved by my family.
A few women in the family knew of a deep dark secret. One that no one spoke of. Back then you didn't dare mention things that are discussed openly today. Maybe if things had been different things would of turned out differently. I always looked forward to weekends. I got to spend at least one night with my grandparents. The morning after was always spent at English's for breakfast. For a kid back then that was a big deal.
My grandfather one evening stole my innocence and trust. That was the last time I ever spent the night alone. I was scared to tell my parents fearing they wouldn't believe me. The only one I opened up to was my brother who became my shadow if we stayed overnight with the grandparents. He would even stand outside the bathroom door not wanting to leave me alone.
A few years passed before what happened exploded. I overheard my Mother talking to someone about a similar thing happening to her when she was a child. I confided in Mom's friend that it had also happened to me. I'll never forget hearing the moan that came out of Mom's body when she was told the news. That noise soon turned into rage. I remember her asking me over and over about it wanting details. I thought it was because she didn't believe it but that wasn't the case. She sat me down and told me what her childhood was like and how she knew I was telling the truth. Then it happened. She warned me not to talk to anyone about it because no one would believe it. When it happened to her she went to her Mother about it she called a liar, beat, etc. She also told me that we weren't the only women in the family this had happened to and the others had gotten the same treatment Mom had received. Mom explained how pop-pop had a sickness. She knew how much he loved me which is why she thought he never would of touched me. This is why she had never warned me.
Years passed before mom-mom found out. I'll never forget her excuse for that night. She said that she asked him about it and that he didn't deny it but his excuse was that he had had too much to drink and thought he was in bed with her. If that had been the case he never would of told me not to make a noise because it would wake her up. Her and I only spoke of it once. Him and I never talked about it. After his death I discovered one of them had talked about it to other family members. Once he died they turned on me. In Wicomico County, I am surrounded by family due to how large our family is and how spread out they are. In Wicomico County I'm also alone because nothing will ever convince them that I was telling the truth.
I love children with all my heart. I don't understand this sort of sickness in both men and women. Actually I'm more against it when it is a woman. Is there a drug out there to cure this, I don't think there ever will be one. I do believe with all my heart that if my family had never kept this a secret I never would of been a victim or shunned by my own family.
I know there will people who will read this and won't believe it. Trust me, I've heard it before and will hear it again. I don't keep it a secret any more. He was my pop-pop, I know he did love me before that night ever happened and I'm sure he continued to love me afterwards. For anyone who may know of someone with this illness please protect those who can't protect themselves. If there is a way of helping this person seek out that help. If a child or even a teen opens up, listen before judging.
DelMarVa's Premier Source for News, Opinion, Analysis, and Human Interest Contact Publisher Joe Albero at alberobutzo@wmconnect.com or 410-430-5349
The only solution is to cull those sickos. Willings did us a favor and did it himself. I don't see anything sexual about a child. I can't understand why anyone would.
ReplyDeleteyou or your mother or your father or someone should have done SOMETHING about it. should have raised hell. It is a sickness but its not like you can't do anything about it. exert some will for christs sake.
ReplyDeleteSince it came out in the family I have raised all kinds of hell, so has my Mother. This is why neither one of us is spoken to now. No one wants his name ruined by what he did. I was 11 1/2 when it happened. Due to what finally came out, he got the last laugh in the end. I was left out of his will. The funny thing out of all of this is one family member's reaction. He is a pastor and has done nothing but condem me. He's the reason why I now talk openly about what happened and who my grandfather was. Yes, it's always someone you would never dream of doing such a thing. I'm lucky, it hasn't ruined my life but it sure did leave nightmares which will never go away.
ReplyDeleteHm - So You are making Jack's death about you.
ReplyDeleteTHERAPY. As I said yesterday and OBVIOUSLY hit a nerve - YOU HAVE DADDY ISSUES.
Get therapist. Get it out. Leave others alone for YOUR past.
The author of this letter should be commended. It takes courage to talk about this type of thing and all of the mixed emotions that come with it. This type of thing NEEDS to be talked about. It does nobody any good to discourage discussion about this. When the public non-victims reply to this type of behavior with such ultimate hatred, it discourages discussion, which only hurts future victims. Pedophile's are sick people, and nobody is a pedophile because they want to be. There is NOTHING that earns people's disdain as easily as this. There is so much shame in it that people often don't seek out help.
ReplyDeleteThe author of this letter shows an amazing ability to rationalize, even though she is a victim of a heinous crime by somebody she trusted more than anyone. As everyone can see by the comments on this site, most people aren't capable of dealing with things the way the author of this letter has. It is a terribly sad world when somebody's pop-pop can do something like this to them. However, I had a neighbor who was a pop-pop, and he shot his entire family before taking his own life in a fit of rage. That was an act of hatred and insanity, whereas the author of this letter experienced a very unfortunate act of sickness and perversion.
I coomend you for telling your story. There is no one to blame here, but your Grandfather, Grand mother, and you mother. The general public does not understand the dynamics of this type of case. It is in fact the "Dark Family Secret". No one sits around the table laughing and joking about Uncle Bob the pedophile. These children love the family member that is abusing them. To a child the mixed emotions, family denial are overwhelming. I hold any adult accountable who does not report this type of crime.
ReplyDeleteIt should be known that a case twenty years old can still be prosecuted. Wicomico County has one of the highest abuse rates in the country per capita. Interesting that Salisbury City ranks as one of the most violent.
Tick Tock.
Maybe its all the nitrates in the ground from the over abundance of chicken houses. Who knows why, but it is here. That might shed light on why the Come Heres are not the problem. It is the good old born and bred, inbred here. That seem to be the main culprit.
One can contact the Child Advocacy Center of Wicomico County. The numbers dont lie. It is a huge problem.
Thank you mam for having the courage to come foward with your story. I hope it helps someone else to heal or report. Maybe it will wake some parent up that refuses to see the truth.
A normal human can not grasp this. If we could we would be as sick as the offender. This crime is nothing new. It is biblical.
If you suspect or know of an adult abusing a child have the courage to call someone.
It is a form of therapy telling her story. Ms. Delluci. It is called a trigger. The story is a trigger point for her. Keep tlling your story maybe someone will come forward. If you are not in therapy it is a great idea. God knows they can fix anyone. They are perfect at seeing your problem, but not their own.
If it happens to one of mine there will be no call needed. There will be some fat crabs in Crisfield.
9:53, you are way out of line with both the content and tone of your comment. It sounds as though these events happened some time well in the past, when these things were not talked about. Now, children are taught early on about reporting if someone touches in an inappropriate way. It was not so a generation ago; then, it was far easier for someone like the grandfather to have his way with a young person. It sounds as if, after all these years, the writer is becoming more vocal and warning others about pedophilia.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that I see the realtionship of the letter to the death of Jack Willing. We only know that perhaps he was involved with child porn, but certainly that is only a supposition. Now that he is deceased, whatever he was doing becomes--or should become--a moot point. It is a tragedy, particularly considering his involvement in the community and his outward character. Let's let him rest in peace, and lets have compassion for his family.
I truly cannot believe the hostility of some people. This poor person is dealing with the unthinkable and living her life as best as she can. You people leaving such hateful remarks to her should think about what if this happened to you. You say you would do this or that, but you do not know unless it happens to you. One big problem with the world today is very few people have any compassion for others any more, including pastors, as shown by her post. Leave this person alone, she has a lot of courage.
ReplyDeleteI had a close friend who passed away when I was twelve. His sister and her husband moved into his house. I thought that being my close friend was such a good person, I would continue the friendship with his sister and her husband. The husband wanted to hug and squeeze and make comments that I was very uncomfortable with, so I left, went home told my mom and never went back. I had told my best friend but she chose to keep visiting him. She told me many years later that she wished that she had made the same decision that I had and never gone back. I don't know what exactly happened with her for she will not talk about it. My mom made the decision that if I didn't go back, it was over with. Unfortunately that was the way of thinking 30 plus years ago and is still today in so many situations. My mom's way of thinking is if you don't talk about it, it didn't happen. Thank God I am the opposite from that.
ReplyDeleteBut then a mother going through a divorce can make a false accusation to keep the father from seeing his child and Social Services is all over that type of case. Many children's lives have been ruined either way.
If you have ever taken naked pictures of your children as babies whether in the bathtub or otherwise which we know everyone has maybe you should be charged with child porn also. everyone has skeletons. Let his family deal with this in peace and quit bashing him. you are only showing your ignorance about someone that you don't know anything about personally. what ever happened to innocent until proven guilty?
ReplyDeleteWhile I am understanding of the authors burden, please don't confuse his life/story with Jack's. Jack may have been charged with posession of child porn, but we do not know if it went any further.
ReplyDeleteMaybe its all the nitrates in the ground from the over abundance of chicken houses. Who knows why, but it is here. That might shed light on why the Come Heres are not the problem. It is the good old born and bred, inbred here. That seem to be the main culprit.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why the easternshore don't like the come here's. They are mostly F'n morons
12:20 PM
ReplyDeleteWe do not know if Jack's circumstances went any further, but we do know that children were abused in both cases. That is what the forum of this is about, the abuse of the children, and the lack of concern from those around the situation.
(What does taking naked pictures of our babies in a bath have to do with child rape?)
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you for what you suffered during a time when it was hushed up & children had no defense. That scars a person for life. I am sorry.
It took alot of courage to share that story,and its heartbreaking that the family was more concerned about saving face than confronting the pedophile in their midst.It happens more than we know,in all kinds of families and people are so sentimental about family that its easier to pretend there is no problem.Its shameful.
ReplyDeleteBunch of inbred idiots. Topper sorry but it sounds like that post struck a nerve. If you go to a family reunion to pick up chicks. you might be from Somerset County.
ReplyDeleteI heard this young man brought a girl home from Willards to his home in Crisfield. He said " Daddy looka heran I got me new girl. She is a virgin" !!! The father stated get that trash outta this house. Ifin she aint good enough for her own family she damn sure aint good enough for this one. True story LOL.
Give it a rest TOPPER at least you were given the out. The writer did say it could be all the nitrates. Nothing about all the cousins marrying cousins.
Cull them. Now that is a waterman. From Somerset
ReplyDelete