Albero Congratulates Ireton

The unofficial results of the 2013 Salisbury election are that incumbent mayor Jim Ireton has cruised to a decisive victory over challenger Joe Albero. Albero issued the following statement upon learning of the results: I would like to congratulate Mayor Ireton for his hard-fought victory. I would also like to congratulate Councilwoman Shanie Shields and Councilman-elect Jake Day. All three now have the opportunity to help move Salisbury forward. I wish them great success as they grapple with the problems facing our city and its government. 

This campaign has been hard-fought. It has also been a humbling experience. Humbling, not because of the size of Jim’s win, but because it has afforded me the opportunity to meet thousands of Salisbury voters. In just a few short months I have been able to learn more about Salisbury and my neighbors than I otherwise might have in a lifetime’s worth of normal interactions. This has provided valuable insights into the lives of our citizens, the problems we face, and the strength of character in our citizens which will help Salisbury move forward to a brighter, stronger future.

Many friends and supporters have asked, “Was it worth it?” Absolutely! This campaign has permitted me the opportunity to bring the twin topics of economic development and job creation to the fore. During the course of this campaign, Mayor Ireton chose to also take up these issues, which are vital if our city is to have a prosperous future. While Jim and I may disagree on many of the specifics of these issues, it is my sincere wish that he and the new council will be successful in moving Salisbury towards a more prosperous future. While Jim, Shanie, and Jake will have the great honor of serving us in the city government, it is my hope that I may be able to continue to help Salisbury move forward in some other capacity.

Md.’s Bald Eagles Threatened By Wildfire

MIDDLE RIVER, Md. (WJZ)—A growing threat of wildfires. On Wednesday, state officials raised the danger level to very high.

Adam May reports fires are already impacting wildlife.

One of these fires forced Bald Eagles to flee their nests. And strangely enough, another bird may have started the fire.

Flames swept across Carroll Island on Tuesday during one of many wildfires breaking out across Maryland. State officials say it doesn’t get much worse than this.
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From North Dakota To New York - Let Freedom Ring In The 50 States

ICE UNION PRESIDENT: 'DISPROPORTIONATE NUMBER OF CRIMINALS' ENTERING U.S.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement union president Chris Crane told reporters on Wednesday that the Mexican drug cartels’ influence inside the United States has been “almost completely absent” from the immigration reform debate but needs more attention.

“I mean, if these folks coming over here taking work, we know that the drug cartels’ troops and the soldiers are all within the interior of the United States as are many other criminal elements and criminal individuals,” Crane said on a conference call with media. “There are people coming here for this to be a land of opportunity and there are people coming here because this is a target of opportunity. We believe there is a very disproportionate number of criminals coming into the United States.”

Crane also said that “the majority of people we encounter are in possession of fraudulent documents, documents such as fake Social Security cards with real U.S. citizens’ Social Security numbers on them.”
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Voters

DEM CONGRESSWOMAN MOCKS CONCERNED PRO-GUN SENIOR CITIZEN: ‘YOU’D PROBABLY BE DEAD ANYWAY’

During a public forum on national gun control legislation hosted by the Denver Post editorial board on Tuesday, U.S. Rep. Diana DeGette (D-Colo.) mocked a concerned pro-gun senior citizen when he expressed his fears regarding how gun control will affect his ability to defend himself.

Among the scheduled panelists at the forum were DeGette, Ed Perlmutter (D-Colo.), Republican state Sen. Kevin Lundberg, and Larimer County Sheriff Justin Smith, according to the Denver Post.

“My question is: What about me?” the Denver citizen asked Rep. DeGette, arguing against limiting magazine capacity. “There may not be one bad guy that comes into my house… I have to change magazines? I am a serious disadvantage.”

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Maryland House Passes Gun Control Bill

The Maryland House of Delegates has approved its version of a gun control bill backed by Governor Martin O’Malley.

The vote was 78-61.

All of the delegates voting in favor of the bill were Democrats.

Eighteen Democrats joined the 43 Republicans in the House of Delegates in voting against the bill.

The late Wednesday afternoon vote came after delegates debated the bill for more than 11 hours over the last two days.
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Minority Student Needs

Professor Craig Frisby is on the faculty of University of Missouri's Department of Educational, School and Counseling Psychology. His most recent book is Meeting the Psychoeducational Needs of Minority Students. It's a 662-page textbook covering a range of topics from multiculturalism and home and family influences to student testing and school discipline. There's no way full justice can be given to this excellent work in the space of this column, so I'll highlight a few valuable insights he makes that would help educators do a better job with minority students.

Quack multiculturalism is the name Frisby gives to the vision of multiculturalism that promotes the falsehoods and distortions that dominate today's college agenda, sold under various names such as "valuing diversity," "being sensitive to cultural differences" and "cultural competence." He identifies different brands of multiculturalism such as boutique, Kumbayah, light-and-fluffy, and bean-counting multiculturalism. Insider language used to promote multiculturalism includes terms such as "practice tolerance," "celebrate diversity," "equity with excellence" and "differences are not deficits." Escalating costs and budget crunches don't stop colleges from hiring vice presidents, deans and directors of diversity.

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The View From A Plane Of The Tulip Fields In Holland

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OBEDIENCE

The Obama administration and its controversial Department of Homeland Security are under fire for sending what is being described as a “chilling” message to U.S. Border Patrol agents demanding “obedience,” Liberty News Network (LNN) national correspondent and law-enforcement advocate Andy Ramirez revealed in an exclusive video report (see below) calling for Congress to investigate. The word “obedience” was defined on the official TV screens as: “quickly and cheerfully carrying out the direction of those who are responsible for me.”

Reliable sources inside the agency confirmed to Ramirez, who also serves as president of the Law Enforcement Officers Advocates Council (LEOAC), that the controversial message demanding “obedience” was displayed for agents on TV monitors in the San Diego and Tucson sectors last week. In his explosive video for LNN exposing the scheme, Ramirez also provided a picture of the “propaganda” graphic that he obtained from a source within Customs and Border Protection (CBP) who requested anonymity (see photo above).

“This ‘Obedience’ order just continues a long recent history of intimidation going back to the 2004 ‘gag order’ by then-Chief David Aguilar,” Ramirez told The New American in an interview, referring to a controversial non-disclosure agreement purporting to bar agents from releasing important information to lawmakers and the media. “The primary point of this all is to purge the patrol of experienced agents who refuse to go along to get along.”

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Fort Knox Shooting Has Army Post On Lockdown

DEVELOPING: A shooting at Fort Knox in Kentucky has the entire Army post on lockdown.

The shooting occurred in the vicinity of the Humans Resources Command, which has 3,800 employees.

No word on casualties or injuries was immediately available.
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Leno Blesses ‘Tonight Show’ Succession Plan

“The Tonight Show” will begin a new era in February when Jimmy Fallon succeeds Jay Leno as host of the most storied and successful program in late-night television.

NBC plans to announce on Wednesday its plan to install Mr. Fallon as the show’s sixth host at the conclusion of the network’s coverage of the 2014 Winter Olympics from Sochi, Russia. NBC also is to confirm reports that it plans to shake up the axes of the television industry by moving the show from its longtime home in Los Angeles to its birthplace, New York.

The announcement comes after weeks of news media reports that the changes were imminent and speculation about behind-the-scenes friction between NBC and Mr. Leno. Tensions between the two stretch back to Mr. Leno’s first departure from “Tonight” in 2009 and the tumultuous transition to Conan O’Brien that followed. That move ended with Mr. O’Brien leaving the network after nine weeks on the show and Mr. Leno resuming his role as host.
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Cyprus Crisis Could Happen In US

The banking catastrophe in Cyprus could be repeated in the United States and elsewhere, according to Marc Faber, the editor and publisher of the Gloom Boom & Doom Report.

“It can happen anywhere in the world, in Western democracies, because you have more people that vote for a living than people that work for a living,” Faber told CNBC.

Therefore, the wealthy in the United States should “be prepared to lose 20 to 30 percent. I think you’re lucky if you don’t lose your life,” he noted.

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A Special Day For 7-Year Old Madeline Webster

Guns Save Lives

We all know that guns can cost lives because the media repeat this message endlessly, as if we could not figure it out for ourselves. But even someone who reads newspapers regularly and watches numerous television newscasts may never learn that guns also save lives – much less see any hard facts comparing how many lives are lost and how many are saved.

But that trade-off is the real issue, not the Second Amendment or the National Rifle Association, which so many in the media obsess about. If guns cost more lives than they save, we can always repeal the Second Amendment. But if guns save more lives than they cost, we need to know that, instead of spending time demonizing the National Rifle Association.

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Sign Of The Times: Phrase 'Illegal Immigrant' Now Passe

WASHINGTON - Illegal immigrants are no more.

At least according to the Associated Press Stylebook, which is a grammar, word usage and spelling bible for journalists.

The Associated Press announced Tuesday that the term "illegal immigrants" was no longer accurate, nor acceptable for use in the wire service's stories.

Instead, reporters are to say a person entered the country illegally or without legal permission and are to include details describing from where a person entered the country illegally and how - did they overstay a visa or cross the border. The word "illegal" should describe only an action, not an individual, the AP says.
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WEATHER SPOTTER TRAINING COURSE SCHEDULED

Salisbury, MD Five lower eastern shore Emergency Management offices, in cooperation with the National Weather Service (NWS) Regional Weather Office in Wakefield, Virginia will be offering a Basic SKYWARN Weather Spotter course and Community Collaborative Rain, Hail and Snow Network (COCORAHS) training on May 9, 2013.

As a SKYWARN trained Weather Spotter, participants will be among the nearly 300,000 individuals across the country providing critical data to the NWS and local Emergency Management offices. COCORAHS training will equip attendees to accurately report precipitation data used by the NWS. Trainees will then be able to assist these weather agencies protect lives and property during severe weather incidents.

To register for the course please contact Laraine Buck via lbuck@wicomicocounty.org or 410-548-4820.

Fifteen Year Old Young Lady Leaves Maryland Anti Gun Politicians Speechless

This fifteen year old absolutely gets it!

She crushes the logic of anti gun politicians in the Maryland state legislature.
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The 'Walking Dead' Housing Recovery - Zombie Foreclosures

With the mainstream media becoming increasingly worked up about the pending real-estate 'parabolic' surge and 'now is the time to buy', the reality of 'zombie foreclosures' and 'foreclosure stuffing' that we discussed six months ago continues to grow [14]. While most prefer to ignore inventory as an issue (apart from Bob Shiller and Karl Case who have adamantly refused to 'bless' this 'exuberant' housing recovery), knowing full well that at some point these huge volumes of vacated but still 'owned' homes must come to market (once the foreclosure process picks up). The reality is that with Nevada, Kentucky, Maine, and Indiana having over 50% of homes in vacant foreclosure, there is plenty of supply to come (and with it the accompanying downward pressure on prices)...

Karl Case pours a little cold water on the ebullience of the nascent housing recovery hopers - once again due to the foreclosure and auction process...

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Protesters Draw Attention In Ocean City

OCEAN CITY -- An otherwise quiet and peaceful post-holiday afternoon was marked by a rather unusual protest even for Ocean City standards when representatives of the “Bloodstained Men” activist group set up shop at the foot of the Route 50 bridge to get their message out.

Passersby on Route 50 at N. Division Street on Tuesday afternoon witnessed three men and one woman wearing white coveralls with a red paint splotch on the crotch symbolizing generations of male children circumcised at birth and called for the abolition of the centuries-old practice. The small group in Ocean City on Tuesday was an extension of a much larger event in Washington D.C. last week marking the 20thanniversary of Genital Integrity Awareness Week. The Ocean City protest on Tuesday also coincided with the 16th anniversary of a ban on female circumcision passed in the U.S. in 1997.

“We’re protesting to end forced genital cutting of male children here in the U.S. and worldwide and bring them into equality with female children,” said Delmarva Area Intactivist Group spokesperson Shelly Wright. “We’re trying to get the word out about circumcision because it shouldn’t be forced on male children. They should have the right to decide that when they are adults and can make decisions on their own.”
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Outsourced, At Home

Hyped as source of tech talent, H-­1B visas usher in cheap replacements for US workers

ON JAN. 14, 2010, senior executives at Molina Healthcare in Long Beach, Calif., called their staff together for a somber meeting. The company had done poorly the previous quarter, they announced. Dozens of people in the IT department would have to be let go.

What the fired employees didn’t know was that the previous day, the US Department of Labor had approved applications for 40 temporary workers from India to be placed at Molina, through a company called Cognizant.

The fired employees — all US citizens or green card holders — were earning an average of $75,000 a year, plus benefits; the new workers, brought on H-1B visas, earned $50,000, with no benefits, according to a lawsuit filed by the ex-employees. The lawsuit alleges that Molina was flush with cash at the time, and that the real reason employees were fired was their nationality.

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Making Sexual Abuse By Therapists A Crime Is One Woman’s Crusade

A bill seeking to make the abuse of patients by their therapists a crime has brought together an unlikely team of legislators and a young woman who could have never imagined herself so immersed in state legislation, coined “Lynette’s Law,” HB 60.

Heather Lynette Sinclair, 27, turned to Maryland lawmakers in hope that she might be able to end an invisible chain of abuse within the mental health field.

“I didn’t even know what the General Assembly was when I started all this,” said Sinclair with a laugh. “I wasn’t even registered to vote.”
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Death Penalty Sought For James Holmes; Trial Set For Feb. 2014

CENTENNIAL, Colo. — Arapahoe County prosecutors will seek the death penalty against graduate school dropout James Holmes, accused of first-degree murder in the deaths of 12 Aurora movie theater-goers last July.

At a court hearing Monday, District Attorney George Brauchler formally rejected a defense bid that Holmes plead guilty in exchange for a life sentence without parole. Holmes also faces charges for nearly 70 others who were wounded by gunfire or injured while fleeing. Judge William Sylvester entered a not guilty plea on Holmes' behalf last month.

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BREAKING NEWS: JIMMY FALLON TO REPLACE JAY LENO AS 'TONIGHT SHOW' HOST

Jay Leno says he will be leaving NBC's 'Tonight Show' next spring and will be replaced by Jimmy Fallon.

Silverado Gun Show

 

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A History of Gay Rights Through TIME Covers

From Stigma to the Supreme Court

In March 2013, as the nation’s highest court heard two landmark arguments on the legality of same-sex marriage in the U.S., the outpouring of support from Americans made it clear that gay marriage has already won. Polls show that more than 4 in 5 voters believe gay marriage will be legal within the decade, and public support — from politicians, celebrities and citizens alike — has never been higher, according to TIME’s cover story. Though the Supreme Court has not yet rendered a decision, and only nine states have legalized gay marriage, it’s clear that American society has reached a watershed moment.
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‘MORRIS MILL’ GROUNDWATER CONTAMINATION INVESTIGATION

WICOMICO COUNTY HEALTH DEPARTMENT TO HOLD A SECOND PUBLIC MEETING

FOR THE ‘MORRIS MILL’ GROUNDWATER CONTAMINATION INVESTIGATION

(Salisbury, MD) – The Wicomico County Health Department, in partnership with the Maryland Department of the Environment and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, will hold a public meeting on Tuesday, April 30 at 6pm in the Parkside High School Auditorium.  At this meeting, residents will be given an update on the status of the investigation.  For questions, residents may call the Department of Environmental Health at (410) 546-4446 or visit www.wicomicohealth.org. 

House Approves $25m Tax Credit For Film Production

ANNAPOLIS, Md. (AP) -- The Maryland House of Delegates has approved more than tripling a tax credit for film production to $25 million for the next fiscal year.

The House voted 108-31 on Tuesday for the measure, sending it to Gov. Martin O'Malley.

The measure extends the tax credit for two more years. The amount will go back down to $7.5 million annually for fiscal years 2015 and 2016.

The tax credit is awarded by the Maryland Department of Business and Economic Development.
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A Letter To The Editor 4-3-13

IRETON’S ARROGANCE ON DISPLAY AGAIN, ALREADY!

I could not believe what I witnessed last night. Rather than being thankful and humble, and trying to be a consensus builder, Mr. Ireton instead sunk to baiting Terry Cohen and Tim Spies by name.

He has been the most divisive and also the worst mayor in the history of Salisbury, and we ain’t seen nothing yet. He actually makes Obama look like a diplomat.

North Korea’s Nuclear Cul-de-Sac

The mutual bluster and braggadocio persisted over the weekend on the Korean peninsula, as North Korean leader Kim Jong Un continued to drive his state down an atomic dead-end. He brayed anew at the state of war between his impoverished nation and the alliance of South Korea and the U.S., at least when his websites, seemingly hacked over the weekend, were operational.

The U.S. military, for its part, saw Kim a pair of B-2 bombers, and raised him a squadron of F-22 fighters. The best fighters in the world, the F-22s – normally based in Japan – flew to South Korea’s Osan air base to participate in the continuing U.S.-Soul Korean month-long military exercise that has unnerved Pyongyang.

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W.Va. Sheriff: Carbon Monoxide Killed TV Star

CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) -- Authorities in West Virginia say a star of the MTV reality show "BUCKWILD" and two passengers all died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

Twenty-one-year-old Shain Gandee, his uncle and another passenger were found dead Monday. Gandee's 1984 Ford Bronco was stuck in a mud hole, its tail pipe submerged. It's possible the gas could have filled the cabin because of the clogged exhaust pipe.

The Kanawha County Sheriff's Department says autopsies completed Tuesday confirmed the three men died from the gas.
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Marshall Tucker Band Headlines Pork In The Park BBQ Festival

Festival Offers a Weekend of Live Entertainment

Salisbury, MD – The smell of barbeque may draw you in, but the music line-up will keep you entertained long after you belly is full at the Pork in the Park BBQ Festival. The festival returns to Salisbury, MD’s WinterPlace Park on April 19-21, 2013. In addition to great barbeque and a weekend of live music, Pork in the Park offers rides and games, unique craft vendors, delicious food and cold beverages. Admission is $5 daily for adults and children under 12 are admitted free.

In celebration of its 10th anniversary, Pork in the Park has ramped up the action this year. National performers, the Marshall Tucker Band will headline the main stage on Saturday, April 20th from 8:00pm to 10:00pm. The southern rocker’s hit singles “Can’t You See” and “Heard It In a Love Song” helped earn them seven gold and three platinum albums during their career. The band’s definitive blend of rock, rhythm and blues, jazz, country and gospel influenced major country acts including Alabama, The Kentucky Headhunters, Confederate Railroad and Travis Tritt.

The weekend’s complete line-up brings together an eclectic mix of musicians ranging from classic rock, jazz, blues, calico and of course dance.

Friday, April 19th4:00pm – 5:30pm Picnic
6:00pm – 8:00pm The Bonedaddies
8:30pm – 10:00pm Barren Creek Band

Saturday, April 20th10:00am - 11:30am The Larks
12:00pm – 2:00pm Tom Larsen Band
2:30pm – 5:00pm Smokin Gunnz
5:00pm Kansas City BBQ Society Competition Awards
5:30pm – 6:0pm TBA
8:00pm – 10:00pm The Marshall Tucker Band

Sunday, April 2211:00am – 12:00pm Backfin Banjo Band
12:30pm – 2:00pm The Crawdaddies
2:30pm – 4:00pm The Eastern Shore Wing War
4:00pm – 6:00pm On the Edge

Pork in the Park BBQ Festival

www.PorkinthePark.org / 1.800.332.TOUR

Admission $5 Daily / Children Under 12 Free

Friday, April 19th 4pm – 10pm
Saturday, April 20th 10am – 10pm

Sunday, April 21st 11am – 6pm

Ohio Man Who Killed 6-Month-Old Baby Seeks Mercy

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Condemned killer Steven Smith's argument for mercy isn't an easy one. Smith acknowledges he intended to rape his girlfriend's 6-month-old daughter but says he never intended to kill the baby.

The girl, Autumn Carter, of Mansfield, died because Smith was too drunk to realize his assault was killing the child, Smith's attorneys argued in court filings with the Ohio Parole Board, which heard the case Tuesday. And Ohio law is clear, they say: a death sentence requires an intent to kill the victim.

"The evidence suggests that Autumn's death was a horrible accident," his attorneys, Joseph Wilhelm and Tyson Fleming, said in a written argument prepared for the board.
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BILL TYING STUDENT PERFORMANCE TO WELFARE BENEFITS ADVANCING IN LEGISLATURE

NASHVILLE — Legislation to cut welfare benefits of parents with children performing poorly in school has cleared committees of both the House and Senate after being revised to give the parents several ways to avoid the reductions.

The state Department of Human Services, which worked with Republican sponsors to draft the changes, withdrew its previous opposition to SB132. But the measure was still criticized by Democrats, including Rep. Gloria Johnson, D-Knoxville.

The bill is sponsored by Sen. Stacey Campfield, R-Knoxville, and Rep. Vance Dennis, R-Savannah. It calls for a 30 percent reduction in Temporary Assistance for Needy Families benefits to parents whose children are not making satisfactory progress in school.

As amended, it would not apply when a child has a handicap or learning disability or when the parent takes steps to try improving the youngster’s school performance — such as signing up for a “parenting class,” arranging a tutoring program or attending a parent-teacher conference.

Dennis told the House Health Subcommittee the measure now only applies to “parents who do nothing.” He described the measure as “a carrot and stick approach.”

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Jane Henson of Muppet Fame Dead at 78

The Jim Henson Co. says Henson's partner in marriage and Muppets has died.

The company says Jane Henson died Tuesday at her Connecticut home following a battle with cancer. She was 78.

She and Jim Henson met in a University of Maryland puppetry class in the mid-1950s, and they became creative and business partners in the development of the Muppets.
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The Military's Sexual Assault Epidemic

How rife is sexual crime in the services? 

It has become a grave concern, particularly as uniformed women take on more roles. Military sexual trauma, which encompasses everything from sexual harassment to rape, is now the leading cause of post-traumatic stress disorder among women in the U.S. military. Female soldiers today are 180 times more likely to be sexually assaulted by a fellow soldier than killed by an enemy. Sufferers often spiral downward into alcohol and substance abuse, depression, and homelessness. 

"It just pulls the skin off you," said one former Army Reserve officer, who retreated to a mobile home deep in the woods after she was assaulted. But sexual abuse often goes unreported. In 2011, there were around 3,000 official cases of military sexual assault, but a report commissioned by then Defense Secretary Leon Panetta put the actual annual number at 19,000 or more. An anonymous survey of more than 1,100 women who served in Afghanistan and Iraq, conducted last year by the Department of Veterans Affairs, found that almost half said they had been sexually harassed, and nearly one quarter said they'd been sexually assaulted.

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VSP: Pair Set Majority Of Arsons

ACCOMACK COUNTY, Va. (WAVY) - State Police announced Tuesday a Parksley couple is responsible for setting a "majority" of the more than 70 arsons on the Eastern Shore since November.

During a news conference, Corinne Geller with Virginia State Police said 40-year-old Tonya Bundick and 38-year-old Charles Smith III (also known as Charles Applegate) were each charged with one count of arson and one count of conspiracy to commit arson.

Geller said additional charges will be coming very soon and the two are in jail without bond.

Family friends tell WAVY.com Bundick and Smith were to get married in May. Friends also confirm Bundick is a mother of two.
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Editors Note: We want to know your comments about this.

The Tar Sands Disaster

IF President Obama blocks the Keystone XL pipeline once and for all, he’ll do Canada a favor.

Canada’s tar sands formations, landlocked in northern Alberta, are a giant reserve of carbon-saturated energy — a mixture of sand, clay and a viscous low-grade petroleum called bitumen. Pipelines are the best way to get this resource to market, but existing pipelines to the United States are almost full. So tar sands companies, and the Alberta and Canadian governments, are desperately searching for export routes via new pipelines.

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THE $2.00 BILL I TRIED TO SPEND

IF YOU'RE AS OLD AS I AM, THIS IS A RIOT!

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills! I'm STILL laughing!!

I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger generation doesn't even know they exist!

STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. I have a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure with the $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about irritating anyone for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'

Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'

Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me...'
Manager: 'Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.'

He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'

Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah.'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change.
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says,
'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why.'

Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir..'

Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring at me from the dining area and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect.

A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager : 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah.'

Security Guard walks over to me and......
Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I'm ready to say, 'Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say, 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'
Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

Just think... those two are of the age to be voting!!!

NOW do you understand why and how Obama got a 2nd term?