I'm trying out my new throne. From here I can dream of ignorant things to say and watch over the slumlords. The sewer is hooked up yet, but it will be soon. I promise you.
I gots me an edumacation right here at dis school. I neva be gagiatin o notin like dat but nobody be knowin dat. Anyhoot, a vote fur Bubba is a vote fur potnurship between da city and dis here fine edumacation fasility. Oh's, an if'n you wants to learn how 2 become a dead beat dad, see me after dis thing we gots goin here.
"No matter what out-of-city, heck, out-of-state pejorative carpetbaggers like Joe Albero may opine as he criticizes those willing to walk the walk instead of, like him, talk some talk, I am one of two individuals running for mayor of Salisbury. Salisbury residents, please exercise your right to vote by doing so."
Dave C., you fracture me, dude. Your 9:21 and 9:26 posts made me laugh for the first time this week. And that ain't easy considering I've been screwed outta my share of 80 million bucks.
I hope I am sitting far enough from the trees to prove that a nut CAN fall far enough from the tree! And I wish they were grape vines so I could sing... Heard it from the grape vine How much longer you won't be my Barrie
This is zactly da position i wuz in when my momma caught me in da bathroom, I was holdin the magazine in one hand and ....................... and she said if I kep it up, it would make me simple, guess i shoulda listened.
hey look its clinton you know the "richard" (or the other name for richard) between the two bushes. or maybe he is saying, " lets be honest i can't read." "I read the plans for the WWTP and look where that got me."
I know we've been jerking you around but when the rubber hits the, uh, road, I'm your man.
ReplyDeleteHo! Ho! Ho! what do you want for Christmas?
ReplyDeleteUh Uh, I'm the, uh duh, best, uh
ReplyDeletethat, uh uh, Salsbarrie, has to, uh
uh, uh offer, uh uh cuz uh Barrie
uh uh, told me so and uh so did
Mikey.
"Its a beautiful day in thi neighborhood, a beautiful day for a nei...uh what's that smell?"
ReplyDelete"I wanted to wear flannel today, but my mommy said that I had to appear intelligent so she picked out this cheap suit"
ReplyDelete"Doesn't anybody own a bank that will lend my $40 million?"
ReplyDeleteCan you tell us who this is?
ReplyDelete"Please limit your household to two flushes a day until Ireton fixes DingleBarrie's msitakes"
ReplyDeleteI could do this allllll day...are you offering a prize for most creative?!
i'm crapping in this chair because we can't send anything else to the wastewater treatment plant.
ReplyDeleteor... make it one of those "motivational posters" that says...
LIE
It's what we do
I QUIT!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou better stop, now, what's that sound
ReplyDeleteEverybody look what's going down
You better stop, children, what's that sound
"Local "politician" demonstrates the 'Western Grip' he uses to jerk community off."
ReplyDeleteMe Bubba - You Barrie
ReplyDeleteWhere's Mikey, the CAVE people look angry
ReplyDeleteas mayor of the emrald city im here to welcome you to poop crap land
ReplyDelete"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinski...I mean Tilghman."
ReplyDelete"Shut up and let me lie...I mean speak!"
"You students don't have any eye-dear what it takes to cover up the pile of crap I create on a daily basis."
"If you place my sign in your yard, I will drain the river and fill it with recycled-beer."
"Dagnabit Cletus! You numbskull! get off those blogs. They are cancerous to our town. How-m I spose-tah lie while you're tellin ever-body the trooff!"
EM
Gary said " I can't take a corn dog and make you a filet mignon.
ReplyDeleteI done screwed up so much stuff here in this here city, you want to partner wif me?
Hey, can my State boss see me sitting here? Im on lunch break honest... My car is parked in the cemetary, LOL!
ReplyDelete"As puppets go, he looks almost life-like."
ReplyDeleteI can't focus my camera.
ReplyDelete"Who farted? It wasn't me! Honest! Where's ever-body goin'? Barrie, tell-em to si-down or have Chiefy uh-rest 'em!"
ReplyDelete"Twas the night before the election and all of Salisbury was in a stir..."
ReplyDeleteI like Reese Bobby's caption!!!
'This here glass besides me is how clean the water coming out of the WWTP is, honest! Huh, What'd you say, that's a gin & tonic?"
ReplyDeleteThanks..I actually have had a good chuckle or two regarding 10:14's comment.
ReplyDelete"But how do I know 'Oops I crapped my pants' really work?"
ReplyDelete"Because I'm wearing them, and I just did."
"I'm retiring and I ain't got nuttin' else to do so I am running for mayor. Will you vote for me?"
ReplyDeleteSalisbury....don't let this happen to you!
ReplyDeleteI'm trying out my new throne. From here I can dream of ignorant things to say and watch over the slumlords. The sewer is hooked up yet, but it will be soon. I promise you.
ReplyDelete"How did they get Jabba the Hut in a suit?"
ReplyDeleteI gots me an edumacation right here at dis school. I neva be gagiatin o notin like dat but nobody be knowin dat. Anyhoot, a vote fur Bubba is a vote fur potnurship between da city and dis here fine edumacation fasility. Oh's, an if'n you wants to learn how 2 become a dead beat dad, see me after dis thing we gots goin here.
ReplyDelete"No matter what out-of-city, heck, out-of-state pejorative carpetbaggers like Joe Albero may opine as he criticizes those willing to walk the walk instead of, like him, talk some talk, I am one of two individuals running for mayor of Salisbury. Salisbury residents, please exercise your right to vote by doing so."
ReplyDeleteThe nut doesn't fall far from the tree.
ReplyDeleteI want to be police chief!
ReplyDeleteIm nothing with-out the viagra.
ReplyDeleteMy first boss was Barrie's pop and now she's my boss!
ReplyDeletehave some peasants fiddle for me. and bring me the head of a pig!
ReplyDelete"I am going to move this chair into my garage with all the other crap my neighbors have to look at regularly when I leave my door open"
ReplyDeleteIm not really a POLITICIAN but I play one on PAC-14.
ReplyDeleteI'm just a nobody, trying to be a somebody at the Salisbury's Taxpayers expense.
ReplyDeleteLazy Boy: It's Not Just A Chair Any More
ReplyDeleteWhy yes a bear does sheet in the woods
ReplyDeleteDave C., you fracture me, dude. Your 9:21 and 9:26 posts made me laugh for the first time this week. And that ain't easy considering I've been screwed outta my share of 80 million bucks.
ReplyDeleteOf course I worship him. What else would you do to a slumLORD?
ReplyDeleteWhy did I let Gordy talk me into this, it's obvious I am not qualified!
ReplyDeleteDamn, this is a comfortable toilet! Hopefully, the WWTP will be able to handle this BM.
ReplyDelete"Behind me is some of da chronic I grew with the the spoils from the WWTP. Does anyone have a blunt?"
ReplyDeleteI hope I am sitting far enough from the trees to prove that a nut CAN fall far enough from the tree!
ReplyDeleteAnd I wish they were grape vines so I could sing...
Heard it from the grape vine
How much longer you won't be my Barrie
This is zactly da position i wuz in when my momma caught me in da bathroom, I was holdin the magazine in one hand and ....................... and she said if I kep it up, it would make me simple, guess i shoulda listened.
ReplyDeleteLook at me,, I am dumber than a meat axe
ReplyDeletePull My Finger!
ReplyDeleteI'm not a fig plucker but am a fig pluckers son and I'll pluck figs till the fig pluckers come.
ReplyDeleteCome on everyone and say that REAL fast 3 times in a row!
lmao
hey look its clinton you know the "richard" (or the other name for richard) between the two bushes. or maybe he is saying, " lets be honest i can't read." "I read the plans for the WWTP and look where that got me."
ReplyDeleteYou see when I lift my hand you take notice, let it rip, fart
ReplyDeleteI bet there is some truth to 7:44
ReplyDeleteLMAO
I think I just $-it my pants...
ReplyDeleteHe is sitting up there like a televangelist preacher getting ready to clean out your wallet.
ReplyDeleteWORK: The Dirtiest Four-Letter
ReplyDeleteWord I Know
The Wizard of Odd
ReplyDelete"I had a thought on that. Oh, wait a minute, it died of loneliness."
ReplyDeleteUh, er, ahhh...uh,
ReplyDeleteduh!
Will you all make your comments short since I'm parked in Weezie's handicap spot?
ReplyDeletei did not have sexual relations with that woman!!
ReplyDelete"Pull my finger. Whoops! Too late!"
ReplyDelete